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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thor's Day: Whose word?

Dear Editor of Burlington, North Carolina's Times-News:
    Tuesday's letter in your print edition from Ricky Clark of your city, which appeared under the title, "God’s Word isn’t influenced by popular culture," is typical of the several such letters you see fit to publish every week [full text shown in footnote]. They all base their criticisms of society, culture, morals, politics, government—and of other letter writers—on their particular interpretation of the Bible, which they generally refer to as "the Word of God."


    Would you publish a letter based on an interpretation of the Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM)? According to an encyclopedia I just consulted, "FSM is the deity of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a movement that promotes a light-hearted view of religion and opposes the teaching of intelligent design and creationism in public schools."
    Mr. Clark has apparently not read The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is known to all members of its Church as the only real God, and they rely on its Gospel as the truth on the subject of Mr. Clark's letter. I recommend that Mr. Clark read this book, or its sequel, The Loose Canon: A Really Important Collection of Words, so that he might come to know the mind of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and so learn that he is so, so wrong! All he has to do is pick up one of the two holy books just mentioned. He has a choice which to pick.
    It isn't only about the Christian religion, because Christianity isn't the only religion.
    I am glad I cleared that up for Mr. Clark. FSM bless.
_______________
Copyright © 2012 by Morris Dean
[text of Ricky Clark's letter]

In response to Taylor Heise’s letter on Nov. 21, 2012, “Nation’s views on families seems to be changing: Mr. Heise, apparently you have not read God’s Word, the Holy Bible, which is what Christians also known as followers of the only real God, also called Jehovah, God of the Bible, rely on as the truth on the subject.
    In the first book of the Bible, Genesis 2:15-e3 [sic] , it tells how God made man and woman. Nowhere does it say God created a man for a man or a woman for a woman. Also, Mr. Heise, read Romans 2:26-32. This is the Word of God. So is God supposed to go against His own word and the followers of God go against it just because this so-called modern world[ has come up with the idea that if it feels good, somehow it’s OK with God?
    Television shows are not the gospel, for what is right in God’s mind on His Word, which is the mind of God. If you want to know what is on God’s mind and about what He stands for, all you have to do is pick up the Bible.
    Men with men and women with women, to put it in simple terms, just isn’t natural.
    I have always said that God gives us a choice. If a person wants to pursue a same-sex relationship, they have freedom to do that, but it shouldn’t be recognized as a true marriage at any time. They can’t have kids so that is the obvious reason that it just is not natural, and if it isn’t natural, it can’t be of God, so it isn’t about religion because Christianity isn’t religion.
    I am glad I cleared that up for you, Mr. Heise. God bless.
Please comment

16 comments:

  1. touche! I anticipate a notable rise in the number of FSM followers as a direct result of this post. I admire how you eloquently "preach" religious tolerance - "It isn't only about the Christian religion, because Christianity isn't the only religion." We need more reminders of this simple fact.

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    1. Thanks, Neophyte! Yes, I love to state things indirectly, which is often much more emphatic than doing so full speed ahead, perhaps because indirection has a way of penetrating defenses and attacking from within the head. A sort of Trojan horse, perhaps.
          Did you notice that Mr. Clark's letter makes the curious statement (perhaps a typo? I see that the editor didn't correct the "Genesis 2:15-e3" thing), "...it isn’t about religion because Christianity isn’t religion"? Well, my point you mention ("Christianity isn't the only religion") was set up by that curious statement, because I tried to paraphrase it.
          When I conceived of writing a letter to the editor that basically paraphrased Clark's, but with the "word" being that "of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" rather than that "of God," I KNEW that I had a strong idea. I love it when that happens, and I have the time and energy to act on it quickly.
          While it is impossible to argue with someone like Clark that the idea that the Bible is "the word of God" is unsupportable and destructive, it is fully possible to parody the notion and create a sort of Tower of Babel of competing words, which tend to cancel one another out or produce white noise.
          Rationally, of course, if it were possible for Clark and that ilk to be rational, the Tower of Babel could be banished forever by a general acceptance of science and its established fact as the arbiter of competing claims.

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    2. A streetwise talking point to defend one's belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster: When doubters ask how you can believe in something you can't see, ask them how they believe in god. This will often inspire them to say "because of the bible, and I have seen his works." At that point you can say "well, I have seen pasta, and I have recipes."

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    3. motomynd, I'll remember that talking point! Thanks!

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  2. Morris, That is a very noble effort at enlightenment. I doubt your effort will open any closed minds, but at least we may find out if they still actually tar and feather people in these here parts, to quote a local colloquialism.

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    1. If I'm tarred and feathered, will you come out to whatever lonely road I'm dumped on and pick me up?

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  3. Sure. Since it is nearly winter, it should be fairly easy to follow the smell of hot tar, and the trail of feathers. And the tar should make you stick firmly to the back seat of the motorcycle there would be no concern about falling off. The wind might even dislodge a few of the feathers on the ride home. Or perhaps it would be better to detour to a car wash?

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  4. Bibliographic reference: Robin Lane Fox, The Unauthorized Version, Truth and Fiction in the Bible. Fox is an Oxford Classicist, who has done a text based analysis of the historical basis of the Christian Bible, and found more questions than truths, based on Classical sources.

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  5. Morris, when you boil it down, that letter to the editor is just a case of "if you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail." If you have a ball peen for a brain and read the Bible, every event in your world is infused with biblical meaning. It reminds me of a joke about "Bob," who sees God in everything he does...

    Bob: It's amazing, Honey. God is always with me.

    Wife: Really? How can you tell?

    Bob: Well, for example, when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on for me.

    Wife: Oh, Bob! You're doing it in the fridge again!

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  6. Ken, as the kids would say, that's just not right. Brilliant bit of personality profiling however. And dead on and to the point, and a very sharp one at that.

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    1. I'll second that, motomynd. Ken has written a gem of a parody. I wish I could write so economically to the point!

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  7. The Burlington Times-News published a bowdlerized version of my letter this morning, under a title that mis-characterized the point: "Diversity of religious thought should be considered." (My point was that any such religious letters as Ricky Clark's should more often, if not always, be trashed—not printed.)
        Here's what was left of my letter:

    The Dec. 11 letter from Ricky Clark, which appeared under the headline, “God’s Word isn’t influenced by popular culture,” is typical of the several such letters the Times-News sees fit to publish every week. They all base their criticisms of society, culture, morals, politics, government—and of other letter writers—on their particular interpretation of the Bible, which they generally refer to as ”the Word of God.”
        Would the Times-News publish a letter based on an interpretation of the Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM)? According to an online encyclopedia I just consulted (Wikipedia),”FSM is the deity of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a movement that promotes a light-hearted view of religion and opposes the teaching of intelligent design and creationism in public schools.”
        Mr. Clark has apparently not read The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is known to all members of its church as the only real god, and they rely on it as the truth on the subject of Mr. Clark’s letter. I recommend that Mr. Clark read this book, or its sequel, The Loose Canon: A Really Important Collection of Words.
        It isn’t only about the Christian religion, because Christianity isn’t the only religion.


    To add insult to this injury, look what they published immediately below mine:

    Two Open Forum letters hit nail on the head

    The Dec. 11 edition of the Times has two outstanding letters to the Open Forum.
        First Mr. Ricky Clark affirmed that popular culture cannot influence God’s word. God’s word is eternal. It is mankind that thinks we are smarter than God, therefore we put our priorities, not God’s first.
        The next letter....

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  8. Today the Burlington Times-News printed a letter responding to my Flying Spaghetti Monster letter (as it was edited and titled by the newspaper, which I described in my preceding comment):

    Christianity is more about relationship than religion

    The last sentence in Morris Dean’s letter on Dec. 18 is his opinion that Christianity isn’t the only religion. His letter appeals to us to have a diversity of opinions.
        In one very narrow sense, Mr. Dean is correct. Christianity isn’t the only religion. That is because Christianity isn’t a religion at all. It is a relationship with a living person, born of a virgin, Who lived a sinless life in full view of a multitude of eye witnesses, Who left full historical record of those events for all to read, who was crucified buried and actually resurrected. That is not true of any religion or religious leader.
        Religions are often man-made creations to deal with personal, social political needs and the like. A genuine relationship with Jesus Christ actually answers all those needs. That’s why Isaiah promised that Jesus’ kingdom would have no end and would always be expanding. Religions won’t match that promise.
        Reading about religions can be interesting. There is always a new one around. Really knowing Jesus as opposed to knowing about him will be enlightening and enduring. It is called eternal life.

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  9. On Thursday last week, I submitted another letter to the Burlington Times-News:

    Christianity IS just another religion

    In his letter published Dec. 27, "Christianity is more about relationship than religion," Dale O. Steele states that Christianity isn't a religion. BUT IT IS. Faith-based, the whole nine yards.
        And as my Dec. 18 letter was intended to suggest (before it was edited and given a misleading title), Christianity is JUST a religion and its scriptures no more "the Word of God" than the pronouncements of "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" or "The Loose Canon: A Really Important Collection of Words." And since Christianity merits no special status, the newspaper would do as well to print the letters of followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as of Christians such as Mr. Clark and Mr. Steele. But it would serve truth better to print neither.
        I am the managing editor of the blog, Moristotle & Co. - Lively views on topics that touch everyone, http://moristotle.blogspot.com.


    The editor acknowledged receipt yesterday, and I wrote back commenting:

    By the way, do YOU edit and title the letters yourself? I realize that your newspaper has many Christian readers (perhaps even a majority), and you may be a believer yourself—I used to be one (or used to try to be)—so you (or your boss) may have a vested interest in not ruffling their feathers overmuch.
        Of course, what's "Christian" to one Christian may be anathema to another (like Shiites and Sunnis in Islam). I suspect, for example, that probably fewer Christians in your market will agree than disagree with Mr. Steele that Christianity is not a religion, although probably not many around here would agree with a friend of mine in California who commented on Mr. Steele's letter that it was persuasive: "Christianity ISN'T a religion—it's an illness."
        So, if you don't publish my letter, I'll understand. In fact, I'm even a bit apprehensive that you WILL publish it, since around here hand in hand with Christian fundamentalism goes gun ownership. My imaginative interview on Wednesday with a homicide detective was mindful of this.

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