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Friday, March 6, 2020

Goines On: Sanitization

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Goines wore his red Top-Flite golfing cap to walk to the gym. What the hell, he hadn’t worn it for a while – because of its septic associations with Trump and MAGA.
    Not even halfway to the gym, however, he suddenly felt at risk, vulnerable. What if a “crazy” person with deadly tendencies should think the cap was a Trump cap and try to kill Goines as a symbolic act too hard to enact against Trump himself?

    Well, too late now, Goines sighed. He’d trudge on.
    He could distract himself from that thought by imagining the amusing scenario that had occurred to him in association with the coronavirus. It was well-known that Trump kept a huge spray bottle of hand sanitizer near him at all times. Mrs. Goines had even bought some small bottles of it for them the other day.
    The scenario suggested itself to Goines when she warned him that the sanitizer was mostly isopropyl alcohol and highly flammable.
    So, enter the assassin into whatever audience with Trump could be arranged. At the first opportunity grab Trump’s bottle, twist off its cap, and, flicking on a cigaret lighter, pour the bottle’s contents all over Trump, from pumpkin hair to the tip of his red tie....


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