Goines On: King Kannabis

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The third time Goines drove past the King Kannabis shop in Coos Bay, a fun thought arose and he didn’t restrain himself from emoting to his wife, “Hey, you know what. Oregon has legalized cannabis and we’re here in Coos Bay with our kids and their spouses, so we ought to all have some cannabis, don’t you think?”
    “No, ought not!” exclaimed Mrs. Goines. “You don’t know what adverse reactions there might be with your meds.”
    Goines agreed that he did not know. “Well, then, I know what: I’ll message my doctor and ask her!”
    “How would she know? I’m sure she hasn’t studied medications’ interactions with cannabis.”
    Goines shrugged. “Maybe not, but it would be great fun to ask her, just to see what she would say. Don’t you think?”
    Mrs. Goines didn’t counter his suggestion, but Goines knew her silence likely meant only that she knew he would go ahead and ask his doctor anyway, and if he were serious about the cannabis (Goines didn’t think he was – the thought was the thing), his doctor might be able to dissuade him….
    The whole family crew had lunch together at a seafood restaurant. Goines talked a lot, even announced this idea that they really should have some cannabis. Seeming to take him seriously, they all cautiously demurred.
    Goines sat directly across the table from his son and to the left of his son-in-law, who sat across from his wife, on her brother’s left. Both his son and his son-in-law were relatively quiet, compared to the three women and Goines. His daughter easily engaged across the male barrier with her mother and sister-in-law. Goines remarked on this to his son-in-law, “You are very reserved, and I don’t need to say this,” he said, now looking across at his son, “but I talk too much.”
    Only later did Goines realize that the two men’s non-responsive silence to his confession probably meant that they agreed.
    Goines messaged his primary care physician after they returned to their cabins, prefacing it with a note about his query’s urgency because they’d be in Oregon only until Friday. He didn’t let on that he probably wasn’t serious.
    Even though it was after-hours in North Carolina when Goines sent the message, his doctor replied before midnight (Eastern time), hours past the Goines’ bedtime. She said there were no problems so far as his meds were concerned, but “Please know cannabis affects everyone a bit differently.”
    Goines was more arrested by her opening sentence than by her cannabis information: “As usual, you always send the more unusual messages.” He grinned and replied with assurances that cannabis wasn’t going to happen, ending with probably a very unusual question for one’s doctor: “Have you tried cannabis?”
    More than 24 hours later, he still had no reply to that one.

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