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| Cassandra by Evelyn De Morgan (1898, London) Click image for more vignettes |
Goines’ phone had rung as he was brushing his hair.
He had parked it on the washstand out of some feeling that he needed it close – had he foreseen this? Not that he knew. Mark up another one for serendipity: unexplained, mysterious, unknowable.
“Cassandra! Thank you! I just stepped out of the shower and am practically naked. Is that a problem for you?”
“Uh, no. Do you need a minute to rest and catch your breath?”
Goines wondered whether Cassandra had seen the film American Beauty.
“Yes, give me a moment.” He switched the phone to speaker so he could hear Cassandra better as he walked to his chair in the bedroom. He sat down, took a deep, audible breath, and said, “Okay, I’m ready. Whatcha calling about?”
“I just want to go over your feedback and see whether you still have a complaint.”
“Do I ever!” he answered with gusto and proceeded to spend the next 15 minutes reviewing what he remembered of the various survey comments he had submitted.
“So, you do still have a complaint?”
“Uh, I guess I have two complaints. First, where’s my 20% discount? And two, TurboTax really, really needs to assign some expert programmers and technical writers to straighten up the mess with its user interface.”
“Okay, thanks; I’m taking notes. They’ll review them and take whatever action is needed.”
“Sure they will, but can’t you go ahead right now and issue me that discount?”
“Uh, I am not authorized to do that. What I can do is send you an email with a link to where you can submit a refund request—”
“Sorry to cut you off, Cassandra, but I went down that road on the phone with Tyler a month ago. It should be in the notes about my feedback.”
“Hmm,” Cassandra said, “let me see what I can do.”
While she was thinking about it, Goines reached for his iPad and accessed Wikipedia’s entry on Cassandra.
When Cassandra came back, she said, “I think I need to find someone here who has the authority to go ahead with the discount.”
Goines could have told Cassandra as much. She seemed to be in training.
A few minutes later she reported that no one with that authority was on hand. “I need for us to conclude this call, so I can call you back on a different phone and then connect you to someone.” She confirmed Goines’ number, and they ended the call.
His phone rang again. “Okay, Mr. Goines? Cassandra here. Can I put you on hold while I try to connect you?”
“How long do you think I’ll be on hold?”
“Shouldn’t be more than a minute or two.”
While he waited through the ensuing ten minutes of TurboTax’s really pretty good jazz music, Goines read more of the Wikipedia entry.
“Mr. Goines? Sorry about that. I can’t find anyone. But what I’m going to do is issue this myself.”
Hmm, Goines thought, Cassandra has given herself a promotion. She’s learning fast.
She explained that the $21.80 would be issued back however he had paid in the first place (by credit card), “usually in two to three weeks.”
“Cassandra, thank you very much! I really appreciate your help.” After a pause: “Are you familiar with the Greek legends about Cassandra?”
“Uh, yes, I think so.”
“You might want to consult Wikipedia about your Greek namesake.”
After another pause, Goines added: “If I may, Cassandra, what color is your hair?”
“It’s red.”
| Copyright © 2023 by Moristotle |
Later, Goines worried whether he had actually asked Cassandra, “Do you have red hair?” rather than “What color is your hair?” If so, she might have said it was red just to be agreeable. But he decided to trust Cassandra. And, to TurboTax’s query whether his issue was resolved, he replied:
ReplyDelete“TurboTax Support Person Cassandra resolved my $21.80 refund issue. She is a wonderful representative of your company and, in my estimation, deserves a promotion, or at least a big bonus. Please see that she is rewarded for her understanding, compassion, and skill.”
But he didn’t let TurboTax off scot-free. To their query what could they have done to make it easier, he replied:
“Well, even though Cassandra finally helped me resolve my issue, I had spent several hours already during the month of March trying to achieve it. That was NOT EASY! I have the lingering taste in my mouth that TurboTax’s corporate strategy was to try to wear me out and make me go away. Only my persistence in hanging on for a good support person like Cassandra seems to have been needed to wear TurboTax down!”
TurboTax and the IRS spent thousands of dollars and man/woman hours to defeat you, but with the rock of your gentle humor and patience, you knocked down a mighty Goliath! And "really pretty good jazz" is a splendid touch! You continue to inspire us.
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