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Monday, April 6, 2020

Goines On: Masked man

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To shop for bananas and bread and frozen vegetables, Goines wore the mask Mrs. Goines had made for him. Even though the five or six shoppers he saw entering Lowe’s Foods as he drove up were unmasked, he put his mask on before he entered the store. He was relieved that he was able to tie the four draw strings behind his head on the first try, for he had exhausted his arms trying to do it the first couple of times at home.
    Would anyone think he was a robber, he wondered, especially when he might be the only masked man in the store? But no one seemed to pay him any mind, not even seeming to admire the beautiful fabric his wife has used – he had selected it from a couple of dozen quilting squares she showed him.
    Other masked shoppers, he could see now, in the produce department, wore standard-issue white, store-bought masks. Goines was disappointed that no one seemed to notice how his home-made mask stood out.
    Tammy, in the bakery, greeted him. “Hello, Mr. Goines, can I help you?”
    “You recognized me?” he asked, in disbelief.
    Tammy just smiled, and Goines did too now, although surely she couldn't see that he was smiling – unless his voice was giving him away?
    He asked whether she had any roasted-garlic bread. She did, and he asked her to slice him a loaf.
    “Is that all?” she asked.
    “That’s all,” he said. “You’re sure you recognize me?” he repeated.


Copyright © 2020 by Moristotle

3 comments:

  1. I like it! Very stylish. So maybe we'll have a new trend, "quarantine chic", where people try to outdo each other with their creative and artistic PPE's! The term "PPE" is common jargon in pursuits like pest control, medical and the like, but it has now entered the larger lexicon i fear, for a long,long time.

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    1. I had to look "PPE" up: Personal protective equipment. Aha!
          Goines did almost quip, upon being admitted to Costco this morning, "Which way to the Most Beautiful Mask Competition?"

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  2. I asked the local police chief how many cases of holdup men using coronavirus masks had so far been reported. I just got his response: "None thus far. I am anticipating mask-related offenses to start occurring, unfortunately!"
        I told him: "After I asked, and remembering that I had posted the 'Goines' piece in which he wonders about holdup men using coronavirus masks, it occurred to me that I might have been the first person in the U.S. to think of that, and I began to fear that potential holdup men could get the idea to try that from the 'Goines' posting! Of course, it goes without saying that criminal minds are among the most 'creative' when it comes to thinking of new and better ways to steal from their fellows."

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