Today was special. In the morning, out in the yard raking leaves, I felt I was in church, exciting thoughts "about God" flowing through my mind, words flowing from my muse, but nothing manic feeling about it, so stately and calm and strong.
If Jesus had ever been going to come again,But how thrilling, envigorating, and inspiring the whole week! Special on several fronts. Because of the blessed approach of spring, I walked four times up and down the hill from my office to the Carolina campus (a little over a mile one way). My body has been renewed and charged, especially sexually. (In springtime a young man's fancy—and an old man's too—turns not to baseball, but to sex! Throughout my life, whenever sexual energy has been flowing, so have my mental and spiritual energy, which is the secret, if anything is, why Youie was/is for me feminine.)
I wish He had already done it in
A year before the one
My parents my life begun,
So I'd not now be in the slump I'm in,
To choose Christian or other cognomen—
For God exists, and Jesus His Son,
And Prophet Muhammad's not to shun.
And I mustn't overlook another front: the provocative comments I've received from (and made back to) Brandon and Tom and Maliha, especially when I've put into the mix with them, quite by accident (or serendipity), my beginning to read a little book by Garry Wills: What Jesus Meant. [Wills is the author also of Papal Sin, Why I Am a Catholic, Saint Augustine, Saint Augustine's Childhood, Saint Augustine's Memory, Saint Augustine's Sin, Saint Augustine's Conversion, The Rosary, and What Paul Meant.]
Reading just Wills's foreword, "Christ Not a Christian," has shaken my world.
While you may know that I need to confess that I can be overly affected by the reading of a new book (as I suppose I was by my reading of Sam Harris's The End of Faith), I do have the sense already that I (and how many millions more of humans?) have been on the wrong track in trying to whittle Jesus Christ (or, as Wills says, "Jesus-Messiah") down as just a man like us. How many times have I written on this blog lately that I didn't believe that Jesus was the son of God in some way that you and I are not?
And I've been hopping about like St. Vitus seeming to agonize over the question of God's existence. Hey, God exists. I affirm it. Jesus was His son. (I'm even going along with God's being the Father rather than the Mother.) And I affirm that Muhammad was God's authentic Messenger, maybe even (as he claimed) the Final One.
So, now, the more interesting inquiry begins:
What, if anything, are we to do in the face of the existence of God, the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and God's message through Muhammad?
Salamaat,
ReplyDeleteA short answer to your inquiry : "walk the walk"
I was really inspired by your post though, it must have been some alignment in the cosmos, I had such a great sunny filled weekend, with lots of outdoor time for reflection and getting my 'blood pumping.' Don't you just love those days?
To answer your other query on things that used to inspire me but make me cringe now: certain songs that now sound cheesy to me, certain speakers/or types of speeches, even books (most of the above are religiously bent ones.)
Things like nature and the awesome world around us, never fail to inspire me though.
No doubt, blessed Maliha, "the Universe is unfolding as it should"? <smile>
ReplyDeleteI understand that Islam means "surrender to God" and that a Muslim is "one who has surrendered to God." It seems to me, then, that in a general sense a Christian could also be a Muslim. Don't you think? (Aside from the apparent contradiction between the Christian tenet of Jesus's "Godly sonship" and Islam's denying that Jesus was more than a prophet and was, that is, but an earlier messenger [than Muhammad, the final such].)
That a Christian might possibly also be a Muslim (and also, of course, a Jew) rather appeals to me, being unsympathetic to all of the sects and denominations and schisms of this Babel of a world....(Hmm, why does this sound like my crazy idea of a general Abramaic religion? Maybe crazy for "the masses" but not for a whacko like me?)
It just came back to me, minutes ago, a memory trace of my once having found a way in which even I (in my rebellious freedom) could surrender to God. That is, a sense of "surrender to God" that I could perhaps now cozy up to (as I am not, so far, cozying up to the expression of that surrender that I am finding in Cleary's translation of the Quran).
Maybe I lost more than some "simple memories" from my brain surgery eleven years ago. Could all this current searching be my journey, not so much of discovery as of rediscovery of some old epiphanies I've had?
Would you, dear Maliha, tell me what "surrender to God" means to you? That is, how have you surrendered to God? How do you daily surrender? I have a feeling that my understanding this can be fundamentally important to me.
Peace Morris,
ReplyDeleteYou are putting me on the spot and perhaps will force me to deal with my own inadequacies in surrendering or trying to surrender.
Having a path, a guide, helps and each religion has rallied around their Prophet(s) and tried to emulate at best the principles that those Prophets have brought with them.
I pray, meditate, keep myself faithful to my responsibilities, fast, give in charity and try to better my character through conscious acts of kindness and beauty.
All religions pretty much preach the same thing right? Theological distinctions aside, mystics from all walks of life are able to recognize each other through their shared love for the Divine.
I hope you find a way to translate your epiphany(s) into practice; or perhaps you may argue you already do.
May the universe continue to unfold in beauty and grace.
Blessed Maliha, I of course didn't mean to put you on the spot, and any honest human being has to admit to having inadequacies and needing to monitor and reexamine.
ReplyDeleteThanks for responding. I'm not sure that "all religions pretty much preach the same thing." Maybe they do when thoughtful people "boil it all down" and "winnow the chaff from the wheat"?
While I won't attempt to explain now, I can say that your response makes me feel better, makes me feel that I may be "protesting too much" and maybe am even "taking things too seriously."
Ha, I'm reminded of an anecdote I read about Kierkegaard. It was in an Ingmar Bergman movie, or maybe Robert Bresson's "Journal d'un curé de campagne" [Diary of a Country Priest, 1951]. And I guess it was only indirectly about Kierkegaard. This long-haired young man comes into a tavern. He looks like any of a number of traditional images of Jesus Christ. He is meek, he is mild. He holds his hand up, palm outward, by way of benediction. (I like to do that myself when I meet someone on a walk.) Some men down at the other end of the bar are gossiping about the young man. One of them circles an index finger around his ear and says, "He studied too much Kierkeegard in divinity school."
Did I tell you I attended divinity school briefly in Edinburgh, Scotland (1965)? One day in Edinburgh, feeling quite low, I looked in a mirror along the street and saw Kierkegaard's "Unhappiest Man," whom I'd read about in a sophomore philosophy class. Being so unhappy might not have been fun, but, damn, was it noble!
Maybe I'm trying to relive that, too? Unwilling to just relax and enjoy life and its blessings? Letting myself be distracted by the depredations of George W. Bush and Dick Cheenie...and, oh yes, the reality of the food chain?
Maybe I should delete this blog and take it easy? <smile>
I don't think I'll do that. I don't think that would "make me happy"....
Maliha, I just had occasion to re-read your comment, and I was struck (again) by your saying, "I hope you find a way to translate your epiphany(s) into practice; or perhaps you may argue you already do."
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't think I'd argue about it, but I guess you added that because you realized that your preceding clause seemed to assume that I hadn't found any ways yet to practice the "epiphanies" and so am still wanting!
Let me see if I can resuscitate any of the insights that I seem to have had in mind.
A prominent one in my life (my working/acting life, by the way) is the insight that I am no more deserving than the next bloak. And the ugliest person I might see today is no less beautiful than I (though I am not that great a looker).
A deep pleasure in life is to put yourself into the state (maybe it's a sort of trance) in which you really see the personhood of another, whether that person be someone "significant" like your spouse or your boss or your best friend...or "just" the mailman or the grocery clerk. Some of my most poignant moments have passed in that state.
Another is gratitude. I can be and consistently am grateful for what I receive. A new wrinkle on this "insight" (if it be an insight) is the question I'm now asking: Can I be grateful for "the food chain"—speaking, synechdochically, for by that I mean something more, as I expressed it to an old friend the other day: "I'm not referring to 'random acts of violence,' but to a system (which I symbolize as 'the food chain') that is out-and-out rigged toward suffering and death...While I can praise God for a great morning in the garden or for Beethoven or Julian Lloyd Webber or an exquisitely lovely young woman, I have trouble praising him for 'the food chain,' even if I have not myself been eaten. I regret it when I hear my mousetrap snap to and hear the tiny death throes under the oven...."
As Mary Poppins says, "Those are some of my favorite things."
Oh, and Maliha, your phrase, "walk the walk," flashed before my eyes as I posted that comment. I meant to ask you whether you mean by that what is usually expressed as "walk the talk" (or "putting your money where your mouth is" or "doing as I do, not as I say")?
ReplyDeleteOr did you have a subtle distinction in mind? I've always assumed you meant the same as "walk the talk."
Peace Morris,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to keep circling back to the question of "evil" and not being able to be grateful for it.
Tom mentioned something about eternity, relativity of this time/space, etc. and how that also shapes our perception and broadens our horizons.
The other side of this, is going back to our creation, if God created us in His own image, then it follows that there are two dichotomies to His Being (both Severity/wrath exemplified in suffering etc and Gentleness/beauty exemplified through all the examples we have of those.)
Whatever you may "dislike" about this world, is in essence a reflection of yourself. Aren't we capable of the lowest depravities as humans and the highest pinnacle of nobility?
Having the capability for evil doesn't mean you are evil.
So why does God, the most Merciful, allow suffering/evil to exist? Because in my understanding, we would never know and appreciate beauty, mercy, gentleness in the depth that we do, had we not been exposed to the "other side."
Not only that, but the existence of evil (within us and outside of us) is what colors dimension to our own character/purpose in life. If we were NOT capable of evil, we would be like Angels...and where's the freedom in that? Where's nobility in being a willing/conscientious steward when you have no choice in the matter?
There are certain laws set up on earth, and there are consequences for our actions. So evil tends to be self consuming just like beauty/mercy tends to be self propagating.
The other layer to it, is what do we exactly view as "suffering": is it poverty or is it freedom from want? The ills of poverty stricken countries are just as many as our comfortable zones of plenty. What we deem as suffering is sometimes a blessing in disguise. I am not saying this as a wide eyed enthusiast on God, but I have experienced situations where even illness and my own mistakes/failings has given me such perspective/compassion for life that I would never wish for things to be different.
Is death an injustice? Not necessarily. We don't know where we are going (I mean we may believe in one thing, but no one has come back to tell us either way)...I believe though, if I live conscientiously there is something "better" after life even if it is being afforded the freedom of not being fettered in this body/time/space prism.
The last layer on the concept of evil, has to reside in the challenge that it poses for us self proclaiming believers. The fact that an orphan has nothing to eat somewhere out there, while I am bursting to the brim with all kinds of delicacies has little to do with God's unfairness and everything to do with my own misery of spirit and failing as a human being. The presence of that suffering baby is a testament to our collective weaknesses and self centerdeness.
And maybe if we argued less about "who is right" and focused more on *doing* what is right, then we won't have half the problems we are dealing with today. My "walk the walk" relates to that...Let's take "talk" completely out of the equation. Let's just walk...its that plain.
Anyway, I am sorry for writing so much...but I have been thinking about this...and may even convert these threads into a coherent post of my own.
Take care of you.
Maliha, Your reply comment is wonderful and it affects me in ways that I believe will unfold and resound for a while. Thank you, thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour reflections on evil remind me of the fine couplet by Howard Nemerov, titled "Creation Myth on a Moebius Strip":
"The world's just mad enough to have been made
By the Being whose beings into being prayed."
That is, being is indeed weird and mysterious (I love Gabriel Marcel's book title, "The Mystery of Being") and no doubt holds many secrets over which we can go endlessly round and round in circles...if we insist!
I am comforted to believe that I will not continue long to insist.
Peace Morris,
ReplyDeleteThank *you* for being reflective and posing these questions...It forces me to rethink aspects I normally take for granted.
I have been thinking of the concept of evil since you mentioned it. You actually inspired me to articulate it.
The most interesting thing related to this, I read recently in the "Tao of Islam" (a book I am absolutely relishing.): According to the Quran, God announced the creation of a vicegerent on earth *before* Adam's creation. This is key, because it wasn't the "fall" that caused Adam to come down to earth; but he was supposed to come down anyway.
God wanted his attributes of Mercy/Forgiveness/Compassionto be manifested, and that manifestation could only occur in the earthly sphere where "evil" is allowed to exist...and through man who has all the capabilities to find truth and develop that intimacy with His Creator.
A wise Darvish (Mystic) once told me "This earth maybe our chance to know God even more than in Heaven" I thought it was deep.
I am sorry if I am blabbing too much.
Maliha, first, let me post here (for the "blog record") my answer to a question you asked me privately, namely:
ReplyDelete"Do you mind if I ask why you got the brain surgery? Was it an accident?"
The existence of the brain tumor became known because of a fall (on an icy step as I was starting to take our golden retriever Ruffy for a walk on January 10, 1996). The fall caused the tumor to start bleeding, with immediate untoward effects on my vision and mental coherence.
The surgeon who removed most of it (about a week later, after various considerations, including my own participation in discussions with him and my wife, but of which I have zero memory) said that it showed signs of being very old. That is, it was somewhat "calcified." He said that if it hadn't been detected but had continued to grow, however slowly, I might well have eventually died peacefully in my sleep.
The first essay I wrote after brain surgery (in April 1996), dwelled on Ruffy's being my "angel in disquise." There's a saying from the Bible that has affected me, that we sometimes "entertain angels unawares"; that is, encounter an angel without realizing that it is an angel. This seems to be a theme in my perhaps favorite poem, Rilke's "Duino Elegies."
The wonder that we can experience ecstacy—even the surpassingness of "really seeing the personhood of another..." (as I wrote here two days ago)—in the midst of "the food chain" is indeed something to stop us and make us reflect...perhaps to nudge us toward "walking the walk" as well!
Oh, and I have never thought you were blabbing. And, if you were, certainly not too much!
ReplyDelete