Goines On: Cassandra

Cassandra by Evelyn De Morgan
(1898, London)
Click image for more vignettes

“Hello, Mr. Goines? This is Cassandra, from TurboTax, calling about your feedback.”
    Goines’ phone had rung as he was brushing his hair.
    He had parked it on the washstand out of some feeling that he needed it close – had he foreseen this? Not that he knew. Mark up another one for serendipity: unexplained, mysterious, unknowable.
    “Cassandra! Thank you! I just stepped out of the shower and am practically naked. Is that a problem for you?”
    “Uh, no. Do you need a minute to rest and catch your breath?”

Goines On: Death and taxes

Click image for more vignettes

About an hour before the 6 a.m. alarm sounded, Goines was already awake and thinking about the fiasco with TurboTax the day before. Unlike last year’s fiasco, he had received this year’s 20%-off postcard in time, but when he got to the final step for submitting the income tax returns, TurboTax provided no option to specify the offer’s “service code,” but went ahead and charged the entire fee to his credit card.
    Goines immediately called TurboTax support and after several frustrating go-arounds with their superficially intelligent “chat” assistant, who seemed unable to comprehend Goines’ demand to “speak to a person,” he was at last transferred to a person – a young-sounding male.

Goines On: Hi-yo, Silver! Away!

Click image for more vignettes

“Complaining is fun!” Goines shouted from the middle of the street as his wife approached on her walk. His own walk had been interrupted by a telephone call from TurboTax that had just ended with an assurance that they would issue a refund.
    “It’s fun when it works,” he corrected himself and then summarized the TurboTax conversation for her. TurboTax was sorry for what had happened and wanted to make up for it and regain his trust and his high marks for TurboTax.