What Next? (flash fiction)

Dateline
Silicion Valley

By Moristotle

911 calls are out of control, emergency services taxed beyond expectations, chaos has exploded throughout America and too many incidents are now ignored by police and fire communication centers.
    You may not know, but I’m now on Apple’s team developing algorithms in its watches to detect wrist movements caused by crashes and falls. I even succeeded in being assigned to help test the software and write up the findings, but I think they’re on to me.
    I’m going to need extraction soon. Then another assignment. Google maybe, Comrade Yang?

Copyright © 2023 by Moristotle Moristotle is working on the craft introduced by Michael H. Brownstein.

Apple introduces...[hilarity]

My daughter and I recently discussed the use of statements such as "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of an email. One popular reason for ending an email like that is simply to let people know that you have a phone you can send email from.
    In that spirit, my daughter asked The Onion to send me the following email:

[Your daughter] recommends a page from The Onion. The recommended page is: Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

I highly recommend that you watch their spoof, which is a trove of hilarious jokes, like "I always want to have whatever Apple comes out with next."