Desperate Conditions Call for Desperate Measures

Shakespeare as Black Humorist

By James T. Carney

Since the current administration in Washington sees inequality as a great problem, I have decided to put my lawyerly ingenuity to work to suggest some ways to deal with it.
    First of all, however, one has to focus on the real problem. The real problem is not inequality but poverty. This is unfortunate because inequality is easier to solve than poverty. Inequality could be solved by dividing up everyone’s goods based on market value and having the rich follow Jesus and turn almost all of their goods over to the poor. Of course, to make sure that Kamala Harris’ equity is maintained one must take this action at least once a generation since it is the unfortunate nature of some people to work hard and try to get ahead, which by definition means leaving some people behind.

One Year Ago Today: Unique new evidence for divine intervention

Remember: “God” backwards spells “Dog”

By Moristotle

[The first official “poop patrol” report for the Collington Farms development in Mebane, North Carolina, was published on December 22, 2017. During the year ending today, Siegfried and I have collected approximately 1,144 piles of poop. The number is approximate because errors are inevitable, and it is occasionally unclear whether one pile resulted from only one poop, or whether two piles were produced by a single poop.]

By the half-way point of our walk this morning (about 3/4 of a mile into it), Siegfried and I had found (and I had collected) seven piles of poop (presumably dog poop). Hot damn! We had just tied the record set only a few days ago. It had more often been four or five piles, sometimes six.

Leaked “Fox & Friends Access” tape reveals Trump’s proof that the mainstream media peddle “fake news”

Satire in the style of Andy Borowitz

By Moristotle

Donald Trump met with friends Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Brian Kilmeade at Fox on May 12 for a program on the lesser news media, particularly CNN, CBS, the NY Times, and the Washington Post. The show had been scheduled to air that weekend but was scratched after someone realized that Trump had divulged a secret that, if it became known, would enable the lesser media to wiggle away from his “fake news” label.

On the eighth day...

This turd is not a local finding, but “a strange
sort of copros” that recently appeared on a
driveway in Los Gatos, CA, whose owner [of the
driveway] sent me the photo to see, “given
[my] expertise,” whether I could “id the
originator” – I could not.

Of the Poop Patrol

By Moristotle

I don’t think I knew, when I published “Unique new evidence for divine intervention” on December 22, that “the Poop Patrol” might become a daily thing. But for one week and a day, anyway, it has, and I have filed daily reports on both the official and the unofficial Facebook group pages (official by virtue of the approval and moderation of the community’s homeowners association’s board of directors).

Unique new evidence for divine intervention

Remember: “God” backwards spells “Dog”

By Moristotle

By the half-way point of our walk this morning (about 3/4 of a mile into it), Siegfried and I had found (and I had collected) seven piles of poop (presumably dog poop). Hot damn! We had just tied the record set only a few days ago. It had more often been four or five piles, sometimes six.

Senate Republicans meet in secrecy to address their President’s mental instability

Satire in the style of Andy Borowitz

By Moristotle

A handful of Republican Senators met behind barred doors this week to detail their plan to contain President Trump, remove his access to weapons, and have him evaluated.