Fish for Friday

Limerick of the Week:

Prosecutors are happiest convicting dumb saps,
Tort lawyers earn biggest bucks by suing plum chaps—
    They say "See you in court!
    Litigation's my forte"—
And defense attorneys guard their clients from raps.

[All of the fish below are personal communications to the editor.]

Although my own health has been good (other than a bad rotator cuff occasioned by a fall in a hole in the sidewalk—see [me] v. the Port Authority of Allegheny County), I am conscious that we are all getting older....[italics ours; this correspondent is a lawyer]

His making a dig at you and derogating the staff is why I hate lawyers. Good thing I didn't know; I'd likely have wondered why he didn't get enough exercise chasing ambulances. My favorite Lawyer joke:

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters?
    He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins—great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer.
    To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and escorted him safely to shore.
    When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, "Professional courtesy."

I have no special thoughts about lawyers, save that the U.S. clearly has far too many of them, looking for something to do—with well-known results.

When I was at the emergency room last week for my son's broken leg, I overheard a man talking with this lawyer who had come in right behind the ambulance that was carrying the man to the hospital.
    The lawyer asked him what had happened to him, and the man said he'd been injured laughing at a story someone had told at a wedding party that afternoon.
    The lawyer asked him what the story was, but when he heard what it was he seemed at a loss whether or not to sue.
    The man told him the groom's best man had told a new lawyer joke.

Lawyers are actors—albeit highly paid. Honest, dishonest, you never know.

I'm thankful for lawyers. Just think what the world would be missing but for lawyers. Could Shakespeare have written The Merchant of Venice? Charles Dickens Bleak House? John Grisham his legal thrillers? There'd be no Rumpole of the Bailey. And what about The Good Wife, one of our favorite TV programs?

Once you go through all the sick-and-tired lawyer jokes (and after you've giggled), you wind up at, "Uh, they are human too, and there are good people and trying-hard people and not-so-good people and bad people"...just like any other profession.

My lawyer friends, Chris, Bill, and Gene, are most likely not typical, since I can call them friends.

I married into a family of lawyers. Our son-in-law gave up a remunerative position at a top law firm to make far less money supporting people on death row. Our son works for the state's department of transportation.
    My wife worked for a law firm for seventeen years. They were a group with high moral standards.
    It is unfortunate that a small number of lawyers spoil the reputation for all of those who are working to make a better world.

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