Thornication
By Anonymous
[Editor's Note: Today's material comes by way of Eric Meub, who dove deeply into the Thor Archive – he says the story is a thousand years old.]
Thor is in lust with a Nordic maiden.
One night he steals into her bedroom in the dark of night to make love to her. She wants to turn on the light to see him, but he is afraid that his beauty will overpower her, so they do the deed in the dark, with not a word spoken between them.
It is so good, they have to do it again. And again. And again....
By this time, it’s starting to get light outside. Thor realizes he must say something to prepare her for the shock, so he saith: “My dear, I am Thor.”
To which she replieth (in a heavy Bronx accent): “You’re Thor! I can barely thit up.”
_______________
Copyright © 2014 by Morris Dean
By Anonymous
[Editor's Note: Today's material comes by way of Eric Meub, who dove deeply into the Thor Archive – he says the story is a thousand years old.]
Thor is in lust with a Nordic maiden.
One night he steals into her bedroom in the dark of night to make love to her. She wants to turn on the light to see him, but he is afraid that his beauty will overpower her, so they do the deed in the dark, with not a word spoken between them.
It is so good, they have to do it again. And again. And again....
By this time, it’s starting to get light outside. Thor realizes he must say something to prepare her for the shock, so he saith: “My dear, I am Thor.”
To which she replieth (in a heavy Bronx accent): “You’re Thor! I can barely thit up.”
_______________
Copyright © 2014 by Morris Dean
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Why do we so much enjoy tales of gods? And hardly any more than this.
ReplyDeletebrother Eric, how does a "nordic" maiden have such a heavy Bronx accent?..i know..never question humor
ReplyDeleteThat Bronx accent bothered me too, but I didn't question it. I just tried to rationalize it as a way of emphasizing that the story is a joke.
DeleteShe was the daughter of Erik the Red who founded the colony of Bronxville---everybody knows that story.
ReplyDeleteI like this ever so much better than my rationalization. It's NOT a joke at all, but a TRUE STORY. Thank you, Ed!
DeleteEd is absolutely right, although there's more to the backstory. Bronx (originally Brawnksch) was the name of the more muscular brother of Wotan. He invented the bench press and the mullet. His devotees -- including the demi-goddesses Platinum Bronx and Brawnhilda (later mis-spelled) -- were well-known for their cheer.
ReplyDeleteI believe I read somewhere they invented Pole Dancing as a form of worship. Not sure it's true---I have heard stories of group dancing taking place in Greece about the same time.
ReplyDeleteEd, if you can recreate one of these stories in time, I'll run it Saturday; otherwise I plan to publish nothing for Third Saturday Fiction.
DeleteSorry Morris, but there are secrets about the pole and the woman who pay homage to it that they would kill to protect. There is nothing worst than to be pulled upon a stage by half naked woman and forced on your knees in front of their god.
DeleteRight, it is seriously believed by some that certain things should not be approached, on fear of death or worse.
Delete