Webster defines theology as "the study of God and his relation to the world." Since "God" almost certainly does not exist (and theology so defined has no subject matter), we need a more realistic definition, and I've thought of one:
The invention of loopholes1 for trying to step around the moral, psychological, scientific, and philosophical problems that arise from the almost certainly false belief that "God" exists.
For example,
Problem to Avoid: Bad guys often make it big while good guys suffer and die young.
Loophole: There will be a day of judgment, after which the bad guys will burn in hell and the good guys will have seventy virgins—or is it raisins?
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- [7-18-2009] Or, as Christopher Buckley suggests: half-gainers. But he agrees on loophole.
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