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Parting Words from Moristotle (07/31/2023)
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May his 70 virgins (or whatever)
...forever withhold sex from Osama bin Laden.
Are we certain there wasn't a mistake in translation from some ancient text? Are we absolutely sure 50 or 70 or whatever virgins is supposed to be heaven? If we're thinking virgins we are most likely thinking teenagers, right, and probably young teens at that? That would be girls raised on "Disney princess" hype by mothers from the the "valley girls" era? Coupling that info with my own experiences photographing teen dancers and chaperoning a few teen events, heaven or nirvana or anything like that are not the words that come to mind.
ReplyDeleteJudging by where he is now, he's probably shtupping mermaids.
ReplyDeleteI understand there was a snafu as Osama bin Laden entered the hereafter. Apparently he was met by 70 vegans. This according to David Letterman.
ReplyDeleteMermaids and vegans? Pretty funny. Way to go guys.
ReplyDeleteOne homocidal maniac and zealot dispatched! How many more are there to go (here, there, everywhere)? On a personal level this was an easy choice for everyone that has posted here. When do they become not so easy?
ReplyDeleteOn another note,what's so great about virgins anyway? What do they know? And why is it in the male ego to think that he alone is destined to introduce a virgin to the allegedly devine pleasure of sex? These concepts don't rise above the struggle of the rooseter to control the henyard. Religion has intruded to place religious value on it. Value it might have, but not sexual and the religiousity of it I leave to you my friends.
Admittedly virgins know little. But isn't it every man's obligation to teach at least one virgin everything they know? But then again what could the virgin learn in 30 seconds?
ReplyDeleteJim, that's funny.
ReplyDeleteOld lecher Frank Harris (author of My Life and Loves), spent many hours teaching his teenage girl pupils about sex before he ever had coitus with them. First, for example, "Doesn't this feel nice, pretty young thing, when I slip my hand up your thigh and touch you about...here?"
ReplyDelete