Fish for Friday

Edited by Morris Dean

[Anonymous selections from recent correspondence]

Since William Rehnquist joined the Supreme Court, it has made several rulings that have knocked the U.S. Constitution out of whack. Retired Justice John Paul Stevens, who deliberated on most of those rulings, has written six amendments to fix the damage and tune up the Constitution.
    Stevens published his proposed amendments last year in the book Six Amendments: How and Why We Should Change the Constitution. The amendments are terse, surgical fixes, which seem to fit the Constitution's style of saying much with few words. The book gives a good history and description of each problem. "Justice Stevens Pens Six Amendments to Tune Up Constitution." [Hungeski, Daily Kos] Excerpts:

1. The "Anti-Commandeering" Rule: In 1997, by a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court, created an "anti-commandeering" rule, which bans Congress from ordering state officials to carry out federal duties. The case was brought by two county sheriffs, who did not want to do background checks for firearm sales as ordered by the Brady Act. The new rule led to holes in the database that would allow persons prone to violence, like the killer in the 2007 Virginia Tech mass shooting, to get firearms. Stevens notes that the "anti-commandeering" rule could also cripple other Congressional acts, from routine administration of federal programs to emergency responses to national catastrophes or acts of terror. His fix adds four words (in bold below) to the Constitution's Supremacy Clause:

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges and other public officials in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

    2. Political Gerrymandering....
    3. Campaign Finance....
    4. Sovereign Immunity....
    5. The Death Penalty....
    6. Gun Control: For more than two hundred years, federal judges have, according to Stevens, uniformly understood the Second Amendment to be limited in two ways. One, that it applies only for military purposes, and two, that, while it limited the power of the federal government, it did not limit the power of state or local governments to regulate ownership or use of firearms. Thus, in 1939 the Court ruled unanimously that Congress could ban possession of a sawed-off shotgun because that weapon had no reasonable relation to "a well regulated Militia." But the Roberts Court has twice ruled against governments trying to tamp down gun violence. In 2008, a 5-4 majority, citing the Second Amendment, threw out a Washington, D.C., law and created a new Constitutional right for a civilian in D.C. to keep an enabled handgun at home for self-defense. And in 2010, the same 5-4 Court, citing the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, threw out a Chicago handgun ban, and extended the Court's newly-created Constitutional right to the states. To restore the Second Amendment to its original meaning, and to return the power of regulating firearms to state and local governments, Stevens adds five words to the Second Amendment:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms when serving in the Militia, shall not be infringed.

Republicans in Congress want to work with the Obama administration to fast-track the passage of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP). ["Republicans Defend Obama's Trade Pact While Pressing To Deregulate Banks," The Huffington Post, January 27, 2015]
    The TPP is the largest – and worst – trade deal you've never heard of, having been devised in secret by representatives of some of the world's largest corporations. ["Obama's Covert Trade Deal," NY Times, June 2, 2013]
   It's so big and has the potential to do so much damage, it's been likened to "NAFTA on steroids." ["NAFTA on Steroids," The Nation, July 16, 2012]
    Watch this short video to see what I mean:

Some more paraprosdokians – figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected:

• You're never too old to learn something stupid.
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

"The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically in shape who had a very strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood that they were to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service." –Quotation from In the President's Secret Service, by Alan Sklar.

According to reports recently released by the FBI, college students across the United States have been targeted to participate in work-from-home scams through emails to their school accounts that recruit them for payroll and/or human resource positions with fictitious companies. The “position” then requires the student to provide his/her bank account number to receive a deposit and then transfer a portion of the funds to another bank account, which is involved in the scam. Here’s more information on how this scam works: "FBI warns of fictitious 'work-from-home' scam targeting university students."
    Similarly, university employees are receiving fraudulent e-mails indicating a change in their human resource status through emails containing a login link to their human resources website which looks legitimate. That login information is then used to access the employee’s official human resources account and alter direct deposit settings, diverting paycheck to the scammer’s account. Here’s more information on this particular scam: "University employee payroll scam."

Riff-raff: The Mississippi River was the main way of traveling from north to south. Riverboats carried passengers and freight but they were expensive so most people used rafts. Everything had the right of way over rafts which were considered cheap. The steering oar on the rafts was called a "riff" and this transposed into riff-raff, meaning low class.

Edith Ramirez, chairwoman of the Federal Trade Commission

"F.T.C. Says Internet-Connected Devices Pose Big Risks." [Natasha Singer, NY Times] I wonder if remotely controlled house locks fall in this group. Excerpt:

One concern that comes with all these devices, the F.T.C. report noted, is that hackers could potentially hijack and misuse intimate information recorded by the technology, perhaps even creating physical safety risks for consumers.
    Last year, for instance, an electronics company that marketed what it said were “secure” Internet-connected cameras, allowing parents to remotely monitor young children at home, settled a complaint by the F.T.C. that lax security practices had exposed its customers to privacy invasions. A security flaw allowed anyone with the cameras’ Internet addresses to view, and in some cases hear, what was happening in customers’ homes, the agency said.

Angular road. Dadès Gorges, High Atlas, Morocco:

    Carved over the centuries by the Dades River, the Dades Gorge is now a very popular destination for travellers in Morocco. Travellers in 4WD (with a guide) can follow a mountain loop (at certain times of the year), following Dades Gorge as far north as Agoudal, then turning south to head for Todra Gorge. It can be accessed from the small town of Boumaine which lies 116 km northeast of Ouarzazate and 53 km from Tinerhir. A sealed road runs for 63 km through the Gorge as far as Msemrir, after that 4WD is necessary. The best time to visit the lower valleys is from March to May and the mountains are best from May to July.

City intersection. In this time lapse video we see the intersection at Meskel Square, the nerve center of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. While the square is a primary site for the city's large festivals and celebrations, it is also a chaotic crossroad for thousands and thousands of vehicles daily. This is what a major intersection with no traffic lights looks like – organized confusion at its finest.
    Pedestrians, walk with care!

Some more quotations from Albert Einstein:

• ...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought.
• He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.

There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin, Ireland, more Italians in New York City than in Rome, Italy, and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel.

The term “The Big Apple” was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930s who used the slang expression “apple” for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City was to play the big time – The Big Apple.

This was told us by a visiting Chinese Missionary:
    Mr. & Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have their baby. When the baby was brought to them it was a Caucasian!
    Mr. Wong looked at Mrs. Wong and said, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
    The doctor asked them what they would name the baby.
    Mr. Wong said, "It will be Sum Ting Wong."

Limerick of the week:

Fold it over, fold it over, fold it
over squarely thrice (two-ply), then hold it
    to the shitty spot and go to it:
    wipe it, wipe it, wipe it. Then do it
all over again – the way I told it.

Copyright © 2015 by Morris Dean