Friday, February 10, 2017

Boldt Words & Images: Ham on Nye (a poem)

By Bob Boldt

Bill (the Science Guy) Nye runs into his old nemesis,
Ken Ham, waiting for the Senior Buffet to open at a Delicatessen

in an alternative universe, or Miami Beach (whichever is closer).
Both miscreants are under 65 and not entitled to hog the “Seniors Only” lane.

Bill, in a wry, jocular voice: “Hey Ken, you gettin’ any?”
Without waiting an answer: “Neither am I.

You know what puzzles me? If I give my heart to Jesus how long
would it take Him to show up? And would He be a COD or a DOA?”

Ken looks serene. His hearing aid is turned off.
“And while we’re talking, Ken, rapture me this.

Would you allow The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
through those Pearlies just ’cause he took Jesus?

Even though you hated his harp arraignments?”
The cranky creationist grins a toothy irrelevance.

Bill (the Dancing with the Stars guy*) fills the pause with,
“Some like the harmonica, others just hate it, I suppose.”

No further revelations evolve to interrupt the benign silence.
Some 28 couplets elapse until finally the yawning valet unhooks the velvet rope to the Big Buffet.

Ken tunes his aid to hear the announced specials.
“Tell me, Bill, are you keeping Kosher or going Gentile?”

“I’m havin’ a big piece a ham on rye,” says Nye (the loud-talking guy).
“Yes. Peace is nigh,” repeats Ken, smiling beatifically.

Copyright © 2017 by Bob Boldt

1 comment:

  1. i like this one. and i actually met and danced with Mr Nye a good bit, back a few years ago when i did swing dance weekly.