Before 2018 officially ended, I found myself writing a play, just sorta happened. It remains a work in progress, but how I wound up writing a play – which at the moment is still just a conversation between God (he's a she) and President Donald J. Trump – is something I’m still processing.
The kernel of the prose, which turned into a satirical play, was a rant about the modern television series. Now, there’s much to be grateful about regarding TV. Putting aside reality television and all the ills it has wrought upon society, we are in a second golden age of television. There are large swaths of television history that I missed completely, so this may be the third or fourth golden age for all I know.
Regardless, there is a bounty of good television to be found via a decent internet connection. A recent discovery of mine is The Kominsky Method, starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin. Douglas plays an actor who can’t get cast and makes ends meet teaching acting to young hopefuls in Hollywood. Arkin plays his best friend and agent. Together they deal with death, aging, estranged children, and recalcitrant prostates. It’s charming with an edge. I enjoyed every episode on Netflix. And therein lies the problem. Every episode – there were only eight. EIGHT! That’s not a season. That’s a mini-series, or a failed series. And it can’t be blamed on complex production values. The Kominsky Method is set in Hancock Park mostly, and having lived adjacent, I can assure you that’s an easy place to get a shooting permit. So what gives?
Perhaps it’s my age, but I was conditioned to expect a 22-episode season. That’s how it works, or worked. Eight episodes is a third of a traditional season. That means I’m just getting attached to the characters, invested in the storyline, and then BOOM! – Netflix suggests some other show because I’ve exhausted the supply of this one.
It is not lost on me that what I’ve described is an entirely “first world” problem. And given the setting and subject matter, I can easily envision it as a problem unique to blue states or blue districts.
But is it possible that there is more to this than just viewing habits? Am I – and, by extension, are we – part of a new, disillusioned, disenfranchised, and disgusted electorate that is fed up with being ignored by liberal elites...which is ourselves? Could this be the start of a grassroots movement that will usher in a new era of prime time TV? Should we get our own hats with our own slogan: “Make TV Great Again”? No, that would be MTVGA, and that would never work. “Make Our Sitcoms Funny Again”?
We’ll figure out the slogan later; the important thing to remember is that two years from now we should all be saying, “Make Sure We Never Put Someone Like That In The White House Again,” which I now realize would never fit on a trucker’s cap. But then again, I should never have had cause to write lines like these:
Trump
You know I really think you made my hands too big
God
I can assure you, I didn’t.
Trump
You know I would definitely consider listening to you if I felt you were more masculine than me
God
You know I am a feminine deity, and I solemnly assure you, I am more masculine than you.
Trump
Why dont people like me?
God
Why don't you like you?
Trump
I should start my own religion
God
Oh ME, please ME, NO!
Trump
This is the most brilliant amazing idea believe me I have ever had and religions are non-profit tax exempt this is going to be the most terrific religion in the history of time
God
People are definitely going to see this as a sign of the end times.
Trump
I love gold churches have lots of gold but to tell you the truth Ive never seen one with enough gold I am going to fix that the Church of Trump or Tower of Trump were going to have the most amazing name for this church religion God theyre pretty much the same thing
God
They are NOT the same thing!
Trump
And it is going to be a great place to work
God
WTF!?!?!?!
Trump
One of the problems churches have is attracting people to work for them thats why Trump Tabernacle is going to have nuns hot nuns the hottest nuns youve ever seen praying in the most amazingly beautiful garments from Ivankas sacred sexy collection and the factories making that clothing for those hot nuns are going to be creating jobs jobs jobs
God
I’m going to have to create a great flood to destroy everything along the I-95 corridor from Trump Tower in Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago.
Trump
and change machines were going to need get lots and lots of change machines so the faithful can make offerings in the Fountain of Faith because if theres one thing people who believe in Me want it is to be able to help me fight off all of these fake lawsuits and what better way than to toss quarters NO dollar coins those dollar coins that are gold and have presidents on them we just have to make sure there are no Obama coins and then they can toss the coins in the Fountain of Faith and feel blessed for having helped me even though I dont need help
God
You need more help than even I can give.
Trump
but it makes them feel good so who am I to say no so well have this fountain and in the center there will be a statue of that jesus guy tremendous guy jesus very smart guy I just feel the mainstream media has always depicted him in the wrong light
You know I really think you made my hands too big
God
I can assure you, I didn’t.
Trump
You know I would definitely consider listening to you if I felt you were more masculine than me
God
You know I am a feminine deity, and I solemnly assure you, I am more masculine than you.
Trump
Why dont people like me?
God
Why don't you like you?
Trump
I should start my own religion
 |
| By David Horsey, LA Times, Dec. 9, 2015 |
God
Oh ME, please ME, NO!
Trump
This is the most brilliant amazing idea believe me I have ever had and religions are non-profit tax exempt this is going to be the most terrific religion in the history of time
God
People are definitely going to see this as a sign of the end times.
Trump
I love gold churches have lots of gold but to tell you the truth Ive never seen one with enough gold I am going to fix that the Church of Trump or Tower of Trump were going to have the most amazing name for this church religion God theyre pretty much the same thing
God
They are NOT the same thing!
Trump
And it is going to be a great place to work
God
WTF!?!?!?!
Trump
One of the problems churches have is attracting people to work for them thats why Trump Tabernacle is going to have nuns hot nuns the hottest nuns youve ever seen praying in the most amazingly beautiful garments from Ivankas sacred sexy collection and the factories making that clothing for those hot nuns are going to be creating jobs jobs jobs
God
I’m going to have to create a great flood to destroy everything along the I-95 corridor from Trump Tower in Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago.
Trump
and change machines were going to need get lots and lots of change machines so the faithful can make offerings in the Fountain of Faith because if theres one thing people who believe in Me want it is to be able to help me fight off all of these fake lawsuits and what better way than to toss quarters NO dollar coins those dollar coins that are gold and have presidents on them we just have to make sure there are no Obama coins and then they can toss the coins in the Fountain of Faith and feel blessed for having helped me even though I dont need help
God
You need more help than even I can give.
Trump
but it makes them feel good so who am I to say no so well have this fountain and in the center there will be a statue of that jesus guy tremendous guy jesus very smart guy I just feel the mainstream media has always depicted him in the wrong light
| Copyright © 2019 by James Knudsen |
Funny, but casing Trump may be a problem. Most people don't have that small of hands.
ReplyDeleteahh, as ever, delightful and annoyingly ..well, SAD. I hate it when evil calls out my evil, bad behavior calls out my grinch, and a paucity of vocabulary..well, you get it. And of course she is she (how in heavens name could a solely male perspective create a female perspective, and vice versa?) and then, we are only small teensy miniscule..ok ok creatures of limited life and influence. And i am constantly puzzled and fascinated by my changing habits in tv, movie watching and music, versus all that is "out there" and that i hear about..and am too lazy or busy to ..see/hear. i think i will go bake some chocolate espresso cookies.
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