Drawing by Susan C. Price
Halo
By Eric Meub
Halo
By Eric Meub
They say a halo marks the missing limb.
I’ve got one round the memory of him.
Yet how is it the phantom steals the show?
I never gave that branch a chance to grow.
Sometimes there comes a branch one mustn’t trim.
Sometimes it’s only a romantic whim.
Was it a time to reap or time to sow?
If I don’t know, how does the halo know?
I wish the consequences weren’t so grim
To travel time and choose my synonym:
I’d let the current humdrum chapter go.
What of my husband and my children, though?
They’d never know, the dears, and I’d be free
Of stunted me: a taller, un-regretting tree.
| Copyright © 2019 by Susan C. Price & Eric Meub Eric Meub, architect, lives and practices in Pasadena, the adopted brother of the artist, Susan C. Price. They respect, in their different ways, the line. |
Most often, Eric, I think I “get” your poems’ allusions, “get” what they’re saying. But sometimes I don’t (or only think I do). Let’s test me on “Halo.” The woman (suggested by Susan’s sketch, which inspired your portraiture) has ended an affair, but she is unsure about her choice, confused as to whether she should have kept it going, maybe even ended her marriage over it. The “synonym” she seeks is the correct label for the affair: just a whim, a sowing, or a solid mooring she should have reaped (or tried to reap)? Her “current humdrum chapter” seems to be her married life, which, if she could end it (even with her lover no longer in her life), she would do so, and not regret it, even given her uncertainty about having lopped the lover whose halo haunts her.
ReplyDeleteMaybe don’t say whether I “got” it or not until some other readers weigh in, perhaps with different interpretations?
Morris,
ReplyDeleteI think you're reading more into this. What I believe is happening is she feels stagnant in a marriage that is not letting her be who she wishes to be. Time to fly and not be cooped up. Or should she let herself stay in an obligation that is totally stifling her?
So...you’re saying the halo of a missing limb represents something missing in her marriage, not a past lover she broke off with? But her husband (and her children!) seem to be mentioned only as an afterthought. I still think she has had an (adulterous) affair and rues not breaking from her husband at that time.
DeleteEric, I hope we’ll hear from at least Roger Owens and Geoffrey Dean (and maybe André Duvall) before you yourself comment (if you’re willing to “arbitrate”).
ReplyDeleteIt seems clear that there was another at one time - “memory of him” (him is even italicized). But was there any kind of relationship with italicized him? She never gave that limb a chance to grow - perhaps she had not had the courage to so much as return his glance, or offer one of her own for him to return. That phantom limb might have never really existed - it is unfulfilled phantasy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for confirming my sense of another, and deepening the interpretation of italicized him, including your comment on Michael's interpretation.
DeleteCongratulations, my dear son, for "hitting the nail on the head" with "unfulfilled fantasy," as Eric Meub just confirmed (although you spelled it "phantasy")!
DeleteI like Michael’s more broadly metaphorical interpretation: italicized him could represent any- or everything she has not accomplished, or even attempted, due to real or perceived marital constraints.
ReplyDeleteInteresting analyses-I thought of an earlier lover, or potential lover BEFORE her marriage, who she never "gave a chance to grow"-else how might she be gone and her husband and children would "never know"? Had she taken that path, instead of the one she is on? As always, outstanding stuff, from our Dynamic Duo of visual and language arts!
ReplyDeleteAh, a "him" possibly from before her marriage! Good! But I’m not sure that either a “before” or an “after” interpretation explains that “never know.” Never know what? Her longings, her unhappiness, her dissatisfactions with marriage and parenthood? It’s sort of as though she feels she’s bound to stay in the marriage, the family, and let it be revealed over time how unhappy she is and has been. Maybe lots of lives go that way.
DeleteOh my gosh, you guys are awesome! Neophyte hit the nail on the head in terms of what I was "thinking" (i.e. the "unfulfilled fantasy"), but all of these options are perhaps possible. Maybe a parallel version of the poem is in order. Thank you all for the fascinating dialogue!
ReplyDelete"Unfilled fantasy"! Thanks, both Neophyte & Eric, for this insight, which renders "Halo" in an exquisite new reading for me. I love it!
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