Conformity and nonconformity

Food for thought

By Victor L. Midyett

My father gave me directives only. He rarely gave me food for thought. He brought me up in an atmosphere where everything was according to his “black or white.” My directive was always to follow what he said was “white,” or his way. Being by nature skeptical myself, I very early developed the attitude that in life very, very little is black or white. And what anyone tells me or directs me to do must be questioned.
    A contemporary example of black-or-white thinking, it seems to me, is the mindset of users of Apple products, who seem to think it is their way or the highway, right vs wrong, conform or don’t conform. That attitude goes too far for me.

How should we decide what to do in a given case? For me, such a decision must be internally debated, the objective being to figure out what is best for me? The answer needs to line up with my core desires, habits, and beliefs. After all, I am the one who has to live with myself and be accountable for my actions. I am responsible for whether I am internally at ease and at peace with myself. As food for thought, I offer that approach for everyone’s consideration.
    I think that people take conformity too far when they follow like sheep, or members of a mob, and do what “everyone is doing.” Don’t such “follow people” have the ability to make decisions for themselves? Are they too scared, or don’t they feel worthy enough to question what they are doing and act in their own individual interest?

People can also go too far on the flip side, and take nonconformity too far. Recently an Apple user of my acquaintance provided such good reasons for his own use of Apple products that I had to question whether I myself might be overly nonconforming in this case. Whether or not I myself use Apple products might need to change as my own thinking changes. As we age, we need to remain “big enough” to question ourselves while being careful not to alter our core beliefs, which got us this far.
    When we debate internally, listening to our inner self, we will recognize what is right for us, but we must be aware that this recognition happens so quickly and in such a subtle, feeling way that we need to be alert and remain self-questioning.
    I believe we regularly need to give ourselves food for thought, to set aside time during our day to think about the big picture of ourselves. A successful CEO will tell us that this activity is paramount. Engaging in self-reflection regularly, we will become better and better acquainted with the language of our subconscious, and with that inner voice that knows what is right for us. We will better recognize what our inner voice is telling us for the sake of our inner peace.
    Conforming or nonconforming should align with our core beliefs, but as we grow and change with age, we can remain open to new ways of doing and thinking.

Copyright © 2020 by Victor L. Midyett