Goines On: Death and taxes

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About an hour before the 6 a.m. alarm sounded, Goines was already awake and thinking about the fiasco with TurboTax the day before. Unlike last year’s fiasco, he had received this year’s 20%-off postcard in time, but when he got to the final step for submitting the income tax returns, TurboTax provided no option to specify the offer’s “service code,” but went ahead and charged the entire fee to his credit card.
    Goines immediately called TurboTax support and after several frustrating go-arounds with their superficially intelligent “chat” assistant, who seemed unable to comprehend Goines’ demand to “speak to a person,” he was at last transferred to a person – a young-sounding male.
    This person was not immediately sure what to recommend, but he acted nice and finally figured out – or was advised by a colleague to suggest – that Goines needed to submit a refund request. “You’ll get 20% off when you do your taxes next year,” he said.
    Goines explained that the current offer amounted to last year’s offer, and added, with a carefully intimated hint of desperation in his voice: “I’m 80 years old; I can’t go on forever having TurboTax tell me to wait until next year.”
    The helper said he understood. “Give me another minute to check.”
    When he came back on the line, he repeated what he’d said about submitting a refund request, but this time he added, “and then you’ll get the 20% refund.” He confirmed Goines’ email address and said he’d just sent him a link for filling out and submitting the refund request.
    Goines got the helper to wait until he saw the email in his inbox, which he soon did, signed “Tyler.” Relieved, Goines said, “Okay, Tyler, thanks. I appreciate your help.”
    Goines clicked on the link in Tyler’s email and submitted his carefully worded refund request. But it was almost immediately answered with TurboTax support’s ruling, also by email:

We are unable to process the refund for TurboTax Online product Case #xxx because our Satisfaction Guaranteed policy only covers TurboTax CD/Download products. TurboTax Online is designed not to charge the customer until after they choose to file, so it is not covered under the Satisfaction Guarantee.

    Goines didn’t hesitate about replying to the email. He labored over the wording of his objection to the ruling, urging them to “do the right thing”:

Dear TurboTax Support, I contest your response. A supervisor with discretionary authority should review my case.
    How can I, as a loyal TurboTax user, accept your refusal to honor your company’s mail offer to me of a 20% discount for filing my 2022 income tax returns by April 1?
    Note that, as I said in my refund request, I ask only for the offered 20% of the $xxx filing fee, or $xx.xx. Surely you agree that refunding me the 20% now is the right thing to do?
    Please let me know as soon as possible that my refund has been approved.

    So, lying in bed awake an hour before the alarm went off, Goines was wondering what TurboTax would say next. His usual optimism was dampened by a dread that there’d be more hoops for him to jump through. He could see and feel a metaphorical padlock snaring his mind, depressing his mood. He concentrated on affirming that the hold be released and his spirits become cheerful by the time the alarm sounded.
    Indeed, as usual, his self-suggestion worked, and he arose with vigor. Breakfast was good; the day was looking up.
    But about mid-morning Goines saw that a notice from the email handler had been left in his inbox about 20 hours earlier:

Your message wasn’t delivered to [TurboTax support’s email address] because the address couldn’t be found or is unable to receive mail.

    Goines decided to drop the refund business for a while, maybe for good – it amounted to only just over $20 anyway. He stiffened his upper lip. Why bother?
    A moment later, he relaxed his face into a smile and tried to remember what Benjamin Franklin had said about nothing being certain.

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