Thursday, February 6, 2014

Thor's Day: 333.9

The one-and-a-halfth
coming of Jesus Christ

By Art Street

Edited by Morris Dean

God, yes sir-eee bob, can tell us what's what any way He chooses. The Bible isn't The Almighty's only text. (Nor the "Ala-mighty's" Qu'ran or any other "Scripture.") All of Creation is Scripture for God. Why, just this morning, here in my little town, He spoke by way of this gas-station sign!—to people whose eyes are open, anyway. Like mine. The price of unleaded this morning was 333.9. Seldom does The Lord God of All speak so clearly.
    Here's what I'm saying. "Unleaded," remember, is a fossil fuel. Right there's a Sign that a Sign's a-coming. God put fossil fuels in the ground on the 5th Day of Creation. We're talking numbers here, folks! We're being told to do some arithmetic. So put on your thinking cap.
    Okay. If you divide the 9 of 9/10 by the Trinity (that is, three) and add each third to each 3 of 333, you've Gott 666. (Couldn't resist the pun, so help me, Gott!) Everybody knows what 666 means, saints and sinners alike:

    But there's more, so keep your cap on, so you can do the math. Consider this. If 666 is the number of the beast, then half of that (333) is the number of the half-beast, just as 666 is the number of the whole hog. And what is the half-beast? It's the Minotaur!
National Archaeological Museum of Athens
Half man and half hooved quadriped—a man's body with a bull's head: literally, logically, mathematically half-beast! (And an ungainly, fearsome sight besides!) If God can speak through a sign for the price of unleaded fossil fuel, He can sure as shooting speak through Greek mythology too!
    What God told us was that you can return from slaying the Minotaur—if you unroll a ball of string on the way into the labyrinth. Just like Theseus. Also, note how close "Theseus" is to "Jesus"! And regard the ball of string Theseus left behind as he unrolled the string on his way to meet the Minotaur—the Earth! Clear prophecy of Jesus's Ascension. And when Theseus followed the string back to where he'd laid the ball, unbeknownst to him he was prophesying Jesus's Return! Halelujah, and fancy that!

And how shall Jesus Return? That was what the Sheetz sign this morning was all about! Observe from the photo how the sign was up against the sky. You might think that says that the sky is the limit when it comes to oil companies' Return on Investment. And, of course, you'd be right.
    But anyone can tell you that.
    Only God can tell you that it's the same sky into which Jesus Ascended 40 days after His Resurrection, as reported inerrantly in the Bible.
    With this juxtaposition of 333.9 against the sky to remind us of brave Theseus, God signs to us that Jesus will Return whence he went, and in the exact same manner—as an optical illusion formed from the intersection of light, clouds, wind, and social psychology, as explained by Charles Mackay in 1841, in his God-inspired book, Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds. Amen to that!

Copyright © 2014 by Morris Dean

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  1. I think I heard that preacher in a church in Greenwood Mississippi. He said the next Sunday his sermon would be about the, "Mud People".

    1. Please tell us more. Who were the "Mud People" believed to be at that time in Greenwood, Mississippi? I frankly haven't heard of them (and I don't have access to Art Street at the moment).

  2. By the way, I can reliably report that Art Street was practically salivating as he wrote today's piece.I've never seen him in such a state of high alert. It was as though he were taking dictation from some...supernatural source?
        Made me wonder whether Mozart looked like that as he was receiving his music from somewhere on high. Actually, thinking back on some Robin Williams riffs in improv situations, Art looked rather like that. Eerie.