Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Tuesday Voice: Liam’s Wuff

Members of the family

Edited by William A. Johnson

[Editor’s Note: Liam’s most recent wuff appeared two weeks ago, on October 6.]

Humans are bizarre. For instance, when we are let outside to “do our business,” it’s confusing. It’s not like we are going to finalize a merger or acquisition or close a deal on a car. We are just going to the bathroom.
    Since we are members of the family, we need to be treated like members of the family. We don’t hear humans say they are “going to do their business” before they head for the bathroom, although we do know that a lot of thinking gets done in the bathroom shower, not to mention singing.
    Also, we are asked to “do our business” on your time, not on ours. I can’t understand how we can be expected to go at any old time you decide. We’ll let you know. A whine, a movement to the door, crossing our legs – all are signs we need to go.
    All of this gets back to the point I made two weeks ago, that if you would talk to us in our language, things would be a lot better. And think of this: you’d be bi-lingual, which would be a plus in the job market.

Speaking of jobs, we dogs don’t get many opportunities to work and contribute to the family. We’d work for minimum wage, so that should be no problem for the household budget.
    The first time I applied for a job, they told me I needed a resume. I brought them a tug toy. They said they’d get back to me. I haven’t heard from them since.
    Thanks for listening.
                            Paws, Liam

Copyright © 2015 by Liam Johnson & William A. Johnson

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