Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Light before Christmas

By James T. Carney

I am deeply religious and always feel faith most in the Christmas season. I am an Anglican, although I do not agree with the Church’s position on gays, but I think that the Anglicans in general are more right than the Episcopals. My parish is based in an old person’s home and we have services every Sunday in the chapel. Not having a building to worry about, and a part time priest – Father Paul – who makes $100 per year, means that our focus can be on evangelism and charity. In my old church – from which I was expelled by bell, book, and candle – everyone’s main focus was on the struggle to maintain the building – which was beautiful – but from my standpoint was a millstone around our necks.
    Lest my readers get concerned that I am being carried away with religion, I will remind them of an incident several years ago when I was really worried about this one case I was trying and asked Father Paul for help. The conversation went something like this:
    “Father Paul, I know that the vestry and you agreed last Sunday that God was not terribly interested in the outcome of football games so there was no point in praying for the Steelers. However, lawsuits are a far more important thing. There is real money involved.”
    “Well, Jim, I am not too sure that Christ was all that enthused about lawyers. Look at his attitude toward the Pharisees.”
    “I always thought the Pharisees got a bad rap from the Gospel writers. And incidentally, I think that they sort of messed up their rendition of the Sermon on the Mount. I am sure that the good Lord was not as much of a socialist as they make him out to be.”
    “Jim, have you been listening to Donald Trump again?”
    “No, I don’t like his hair style. Reminds me of that flaky senator from North Carolina – John Edwards – who spoke for the people and had $900 haircuts. I doubt if the Lord would have thought much of him. And remember, he was a plaintiff’s lawyer.
    “Edwards is most certainly headed for hell.”
    “Given his wife and his administrative assistant, he may be there already. But anyway, I got big problems in this case and I need you to pray for us.”
    “Well I certainly could pray that truth and justice will prevail.”
    “Father, I don’t want any of your damn moralizing. Just pray that we win.”

Copyright © 2015 by James T. Carney


  1. Jim, if you get tired of the legal profession, I can give you a full-time job writing humor for Moristotle & Co. You have submitted far too little this year, so here's to a more writerly 2016.

  2. To those new to Blogger: Blogger can seem daunting to new commenters. Many commenters just select "Comment as" Anonymous and "sign" their name in the body of their comment. Or select "Comment as" Name/URL" and give their name in the "Name" field (leaving the "URL" field blank). In any case, ALWAYS copy the text of your comment to the pasteboard prior to clicking "Preview" or "Publish," in case the comment goes into "Google Land," and you need to re-enter it. (I always do this myself.)