Penny for Her Thoughts: First USA anniversary

After crossing the pond permanently

By Penelope Griffiths

March is an anniversary month for me. Almost a whole year ago I packed up all of my worldly goods in Wales and sent them on their journey across the pond.
    How has it been? Well, not exactly as I’d imagined; in fact, almost nothing like I imagined. When my daughter asked me to move over to the USA, after she herself became eligible to sponsor me for my Green Card, I was highly excited that I’d be close to my daughter and my grandsons, be able to watch them grow up, be able to spend family time with all of them.
    I was to move into a “mother-in-law” suite above their garage, not into the main house, but still only a mere six feet from their back door – perfect for me, as I didn’t want a big place, just my own bathroom. After all, what woman of a certain age wants to share her bathroom with anyone, let alone two five-year-olds with poor aim?

I flew over ahead of my 22 boxes of stuff, which were going via a slow boat, but I did have four very full, large suitcases in tow. One case was filled with all the goods I didn’t think I could find easily here, such as Marmite in very large, squeezable jars; Cadbury chocolate digestive biscuits; my favorite deodorant; and “cook-in-bag” bags – to name just a few.
    Before I moved over, I had owned my own house, had a highly paid and interesting job, and enjoyed a great group of friends – and all in a wonderful city with fantastic shopping, restaurants, and social venues galore. But it all seemed meaningless when compared to living with my family and having good, quality family time. So, I happily left all of that behind.

Fast forward almost twelve months. I’m living in my “mother-in-law” suite, I get to see the boys almost every day for an hour or so, I’ve got a few good friends, and I’m now working as a cashier in a well-known drug store chain. Chapel Hill is an interesting area, though it’s no Cardiff, but I’m getting used to it (and it to me, I hope). I have bought my own car – a hybrid, naturally – and I can maneuver around the area without using my GPS – well, within a 20-mile radius anyway!

The most recent family outing,
to North Carolina’s Zoo
(October 2018)

    I hadn’t imagined that my new life would so closely resemble my old life. I thought my days would be filled with taking and picking up the boys from school, with cooking meals and dining with the family, with going on family days out or even on family holidays. The days did look like that in the first couple of months, but it soon became apparent that my idea of family life and inclusion was not their idea. Their idea of having me here was that I’d be more of an occasional grandparent.
    I realize that most grandparents don’t get to see or spend a lot of time with their grandkids – maybe once a week or month or even year – but that’s usually because of distance, as it was for me when I was on the other side of the pond. I never thought I would be subject to the same distancing once I was here in the USA.

I’m getting on with it as best I can. Some days are easier. Having a job helps greatly, as it’s a good distraction, and I enjoy the contact with the various customers who pass through the door. Most days when I am not working I have domestic chores to keep me occupied, but the best times are when my grandsons come over to see me. We play games, watch some TV, maybe have a snack or two, but we always have fun and laugh – a lot – and that’s why I’m staying at least until the boys no longer want their Mamgu around. Long may that be the case.

Copyright © 2019 by Penelope Griffiths