Goines On: Ophthalmology appointment

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The ophthalmologist’s assistant checked Goines’ eye pressure and squeezed drops into his upturned eyes to dilate them for the retinal exam. Then she checked his meds – what he was still taking, no longer taking, taking that wasn’t listed. Goines had been diagnosed with blepharitis, and he told her he was using artificial tears more often now, not just in the morning and at night but also frequently during the day. He fingered the neck scarf he was wearing and started to say more, but stopped himself. The assistant seemed to notice, because she waited.
    Goines started again, stopped again, and then told her about the several small bottles of artificial tears he had, how having them about the house reminded him to use them. “I have a bottle in my pocket right now,” he said. He fingered the scarf again. “I bought an economy box of the tears for my dog, to put them in his eyes before and after his weekly baths, because they used a hair drier to dry him.”
    “What kind of dog do you have?” Goines said he didn’t have his dog anymore, he had become deathly sick and been euthanized to end his suffering. “This scarf was his too,” Goines said, touching it again. “I wear it and use the artificial tears in remembrance.” At this, real tears welled up in the assistant’s eyes.
    “You have a story, too, I see,” Goines said, and reached out his hand and took hers when she extended it. “I won’t ask you to tell your story – unless you want to.” She wiped her eyes. “My son was killed, in an accident. He was 21.”
    Goines said. “It just got very real in here, didn’t it?”
    After Goines drove the freeway back home, the flowing energy he had felt on the way to the ophthalmologist had fled. He didn’t feel like doing anything but sit down and rest. Sitting on the sofa, he wondered whether his nighttime affirmations might also help before a nap or a brief meditation, refreshing and re-energizing him even without a night’s sleep, but he didn’t try it that afternoon – in remembrance of Ziggy, and for the ophthalmology assistant and her son.

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