Thumper

By Eric Meub

As Harry Potter puts it, “You-Know-Who”
Is hexing Pennsylvania Avenue.
The President, we learn, is quite annoyed
At all the fuss surrounding Mr Floyd.
The protesters have vowed to make a mess
Of his insightful Rose Garden address.
There’s been no looting, curfew’s not begun,
And yet, by all means, something must be done.
The President can see them from his porch:
They must be bad, for no one holds a torch.
God knows, a gentle leader now and then
Must terrorize his fellow countrymen,
And after all, he can’t let Biden top
His prospects for a righteous photo-op.
The demonstrators amble slowly by
Under illusions they’re protected by
Their First Amendment rights today, but – oops! –
The President has remedies: the troops.
Only the most extraordinary crook
Could make these violate the oath they took,
But watch them tear-gas everyone they meet
So that the President may cross the street.
What does he do there on the other side?
The chicken would have been more justified.
Of all the news, this is the most perverse:
A Bible’s hiding in Ivanka’s purse.
This is the Word of God, who never planned
To end up sprouting out of Donald’s hand.
He’s sure he read in Romans, Chapter 8,
That God intended him to “dominate,”
But ministers inform the nightly news
The President’s been missing from the pews,
And this event has left them in the lurch:
They would have never let him near the Church.
But who believes Episcopalians?
They’re kinder to illegal aliens.
And, while a loser general can say
The President is only in the way,
Admonishments from China and Iran
May help him to become a Christian man.
He holds that Bible, doesn’t say a word,
From which all kinds of truth can be inferred,
For instance: racism does not exist.
You don’t agree? Then you’re a terrorist.

Copyright © 2020 by Eric Meub