BODY COUNT: Killers (a novel): Chapter 35. Career Decisions

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Once back in Memphis, Blake was on the telephone all morning setting up a retreat location for Shelley. He was kicking himself for not sending her to one after the Betty Walker shooting. He had watched her closely on the trip back from Seattle and noticed some classic signs of PTSD. He wondered whether the signs had been there all along and he had missed them.
    He reached out to some of his friends from the past and was told of a ranch buried deep in the Smoky Mountains whose specialty was treating people suffering from PTSD. They could have a room waiting for her.
    His team’s new workspace was almost finished. On the outside it still looked like a bar with a parking lot in front, but on the inside it was set up for business. With Mary and Peter working at the A.P.S. building, there was space for everybody to have his or her own area, plus the tables arranged in front of the big screen. Blake had kept the bar and kitchen intact, which gave the place a nice homey look.
    The door opened and Shelley walked over to the table Blake was at. “Is that coffee I smell? I could really use a cup.”
    Blake waved his hand. “It’s right behind the bar. Grab a cup and come sit with me.”
    Shelley came back sipping from the cup she was carrying. “I was wondering how long it would take. I guess this is where I get my ass eaten out for fucking up in Seattle?”
    Blake slid a pamphlet across the table at her. “It could have been handled better, but when things end well the hiccups along the way can be overlooked. But this pamphlet cannot. You’re booked for a month’s stay there. Then you’ll return here under the care of a doctor, who will see you once a week until he says you can go back on active duty. Until he clears you, you’ll be working here with me.”
    Shelley picked up the pamphlet and glanced through it. “Blake, I don’t need this. I’m good to go.” She held her hand out, palm down. “Look, I’m steady as a rock.”
    Blake took a drink of his coffee. “Shelley, you have all the signs of PTSD. You were probably showing the signs before Seattle and I missed them. After that first kill at Reelfoot, I should have had someone for you to talk to. Now, it’s mandatory. Anyone involved for the first time in a death by their own hands will go through this same thing. That first kill can’t be overlooked or forgotten. We all need help once in a while.”
    She slid the pamphlet back at Blake. “What about Bobby? I don’t see him here.”
    Blake picked up the pamphlet and turned it over in his hands. “Bobby no longer works for us. He took a job with Homeland Security, which has its own program, and I’m sure Bobby is getting treatment. This is not a request, it’s an order. If you choose to quit and walk out the door, you’ll never work in law enforcement again. Your file with the FBI will say you’re unstable. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but it’s in your own best interest. If you don’t deal with it now, it’ll come back on you when you’re least expecting it and less able to handle it.”
    Shelley scooted her chair back and stood up. “This isn’t fair! Everybody was cheering me and I got a medal. Now you want to lock me up!” She seemed on the verge of tears.
    Blake stood up and walked around the table. He pulled her into his chest. “I know it doesn’t seem fair. I felt the same way when I had to accept help many years ago, but I’m thankful today that I was made to do it.”
    She pushed back and looked up at him. “They made you go to one of these places?”
    Blake laughed. “No, I wasn’t that lucky. I was an outpatient at one of the local mental hospitals. The place you’re going to is more of a vacation spa.”
    He pulled her chair back toward the table. “Take a seat. There are a few more things we need to discuss.”
    She wiped her eyes and sat like a small child waiting for the other shoe to drop. Blake cleared his throat. “Most policemen work all their lives on the street. The departments have only so many other slots they need to fill. So, even if you take the test and pass with flying colors, the likelihood of getting a promotion is small. However, once in a great while a cop is in the right place at the right time and shoots the right person. Then, overnight, the doors open. In my case, I got a gold shield and I became a detective. In Bobby’s case, he got a job with Homeland Security. Now it’s your turn. Once you’re cleared by the doctor, you’ll be able to write your own ticket anywhere you want to go. However, remember that that door is only open for a short time, and once it closes, the odds of it opening again are slim to none.”
    Shelley was confused. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
    Blake reached across the table and took her hand. “You’ll have a place here as long as I’m here. What I’m telling you is that this unit, like any other, could be closed down tomorrow, so you have to look out for yourself. Take this time and explore some of the opportunities that will be coming your way.”
    She squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Blake. I’ll take your advice. Not that I have much choice.” She grinned. “When do I leave?”
    Blake removed his hand and stood up. “Go home and pack. Taylor will pick you up in two hours.”
    Shelley walked around the table and kissed Blake on the cheek. “I guess it will be springtime before I see you again.” And then, without another word, she left.
    As the door closed, Blake wondered whether he would ever see Shelley come back through that door, because there was a good chance she would be offered a dream job somewhere else.

Copyright © 2019, 2020 by Ed Rogers