By Ken Marks[Originally posted on The Scratching Post yesterday, January 20, 2022. Extracted here by permission of the author.]
I’ll turn 79 this month. A decade of septuagenarian existence is creaking to a close. Every actuary worth their salt knows the tracks run out not far ahead. This is not like being 69 and peering into one’s 70s. Not in the least. This is peering into the abyss.
Maybe you’re one of those who says, “Just say screw it! Stay planted in the present. Live in the moment, not in a shadow. That’s the only way to get a full measure of joy out of whatever time you have.” To which I say, “You’re talking through your hat. As if people have the option to flip a switch and ‘poof’, all awareness of mortality vanishes. There aren’t enough hallucinogens and hallelujahs in this world for me to pull that off.” Living with an awareness of terminal frailties is baked into the pie. What we do with that awareness defines us as much as anything else in our lives.
I’ve always lived three-fourths of my life in my head, so the way forward for me is to give myself a thought assignment: Devise a plan that will make senescence as agreeable as possible. (Notice the “as possible.” I harbor no delusion that I can summon up a cheery farewell.)
I’ve already begun working on my plan and, surprisingly, it’s not as hard as I first thought. The guiding precept is almost self-evident: Make a list of things that make you happy, and give more time to them. I’d like to share my list with you, not because it’s a model or exemplary in any way. I think it might be helpful to show you what one looks like. So, here we go …
[Read Ken’s list on The Scratching Post.]
| Copyright © 2022 by Ken Marks Ken Marks was a contributing editor with Paul Clark & Tom Lowe when “Moristotle” became “Moristotle & Co.” A brilliant photographer, witty conversationalist, and elegant writer, Ken contributed photographs, essays, and commentaries from mid-2008 through 2012. Late in 2013, Ken birthed the blog The Scratching Post. He also posts albums of his photos on Flickr. |
That first paragraph, about the difference between being 69, versus 79, is brilliant. Even with that somber thought, however, the abyss may still be far away. The world's oldest people are now routinely living well past 109; that means they had more than 40 years left at age 69, and still had more than 30 years left at age 79.
ReplyDeleteMillions of people have lived amazing lives, only to die before they were 30 years old. Looking at it from that perspective, 30 years can mean the abyss is a lifetime away.
Logically, “the abyss is a lifetime away” applies to all creatures who ever lived, are living, or will live. Just saying.
DeleteFor the record, Ken and I did NOT conspire so that his scratching post and my Goines vignette were published on the same day. No, it’s just a beautiful coincidence that Goines’ thoughts yesterday (and a number of his previous thoughts posted on Moristotle & Co.) resonate with the concerns on Ken’s list.
ReplyDeleteIt gives me special pleasure to post Ken’s opening words here today, so as to provide our readers a link to read the whole of “Semper paratus,” even though “Semper paratus” portrays mortality much closer to the bone than “Goines On: His last thoughts,” which by comparison considers only the wrinkles on mortality’s skin.
I have to agree with Ken. Being the older of the three or more. I turned 79, 1/3/22, Morris 1/8/22, and I guess Ken 1/20/22. I told Morris after my birthday I felt like shit I wanted to doing nothing. Now as I look to the future I see what I thought was a curve in the road and find it is in fact where it runs out.
ReplyDeleteA motto was requested... I think. I am the youngest to join this and likely the dimmest.
DeleteSemper Fidelis, is the U.S. Marine Corps motto, Always Faithful. As for a personal motto, all the good ones have been claimed - "Help ever, hurt never" "Be Prepared" "Like a Good Neighbor" "4 out of 5 dentists"
Two things have become clear...er, I wouldn't wish being me on anyone, but I don't want to be anyone else. And the view gets better, of course to take it in you have to stop and sometimes look at where you've been. Keeping with the life is a road theme that seems to be travelling through this thread, maybe it's time to stop clipping the apexes.
Acting Citizen, I googled "semper paratus" again and was embarrased to see that I misread whatever I read before. It is the motto of the U.S. Coast Guard [“always prepared”], not the U.S. Marines, so I guess you don't have any influence there toward getting Ken inducted as an honorary member into the U.S. Coast Guard? Or do you? Ken’s adopting the Coast Guard’s motto has to mean a lot.
DeleteLoneliest, coincidental to your use of the term "clipping the apexes" I came across an article about Napierville, Illinois establishing a closed track for people to test drive cars on before buying. This allows people to more fully test their potential new car's performance and handling before buying, and it decreases the number of test drives through neighborhoods near dealerships.
DeleteI'm not sure how this relates to aging...but maybe if you buy a car that is exciting to drive, and you have a facility where you can test drive it in an exciting manner, it makes you feel younger? For a while at least, before the mind-numbing boredom of normal day-to-day driving -- and living -- again overpower the brain and we return to angst-filled ponderings about how long we might live and wondering how long the battle to survive is worth the effort. Cheery thoughts all!