A casualty of the ongoing pan/endemic is college enrollment. Students are fewer, and – for a part-time, sorry, adjunct faculty member – the dwindling numbers mean that the usual load of two or three classes becomes one. This fall one becomes none.
In anticipation of this, I applied to become a substitute teacher with the Fresno Unified School District (FUSD). The district is desperate. With the end of the 2021/22 school year, the desperation will morph into panic as a large number of teachers leave the profession. Long story short, the FUSD human resources representative told me I was hired after the first of three interview questions. As of this writing, I’ve worked 23 days at eleven different schools. The students’ ages have ranged from toddler preschoolers to high school seniors.
What have I learned?
- Fifth graders are the new middle schoolers. Or perhaps middle-school angst now lasts four years? Whatever the case, I’m not a fan.
- High school students aren’t as bad as I feared. Given the right class, it can be a very stress-free day. I was first made aware of this when I accepted a gig subbing for an art teacher. The classroom was at times as quiet as a church – a Catholic church, on a day when the priest is hearing confession, not a mega-church (MAGA-church?) with a pastor screaming into the mic about lizard people.
- First-graders are extremely helpful. I may be confusing their incredibly critical nature with helpfulness.
First-grader: Teacher, you’re not supposed to turn off the lights until all of the students have left the room.Substitute teacher: Thank you, Mateo.
First-grader: That’s ok. Don’t let it happen again.
- The high school graduates of 2034 will find that more than the usual of number of their classmates are 19 years old. I make this prediction based on the number of kindergartners who have permanent upper teeth erupting. The pandemic has put them behind. Perhaps the educational system will evolve and adapt, but this is the same system that forced me to take algebra, something I never use.
- Don’t wear any fabric that is particularly tactile around kindergartners. You may find yourself being petted by a five-year-old. I made the mistake of wearing a corduroy blazer to work and spent much of the day with a young man named Carson latched on to my sleeve.
- The previous kernel of wisdom points out that social distancing doesn’t work around small children. This is especially true around preschoolers. My first day working with preschool-age children began with the children entering the classroom and placing their backpacks, jackets, and other bric-a-brac into their “cubbies.” One student decided I must see her stuffed strawberry, which was clipped to her backpack. It is my habit to put myself at eye level with the little ones whenever possible. And this was the case when she approached and pressed the plush fruit into my nose so that I might take in the imitation strawberry aroma it had been infused with, completely.
- I don’t have the knees for kindergarten. Dropping to one knee to better connect with a small child may benefit the learning process, but it’s murder on the knees. A gardening pad for the knees may be in order.
- I’ve received some of my best reviews. While working in theatre entails being reviewed by someone, I’ve never enjoyed that aspect of performing, and I make it a point to avoid reading reviews until the show closes. Getting a review from someone in the preschool/kindergarten group is another matter entirely. I don’t mind receiving a favorable review from them, ever.
| Copyright © 2022 by James Knudsen |
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