Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

How can I put my daughter's mind at ease about that shooting where I rent a house?

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

Someone got shot in the neighborhood where I own a house. It is just a middle class area. People keep their lawns and property up. No loud music blasting down the streets. But there was a shooting.
    I have the place rented to a very nice couple. The guy is good with tools and takes good care of the property. The shooting was last October and my daughter is still onto me about selling the house. She believes the shooting has devalued the property and it would be better to take the loss now than wait for another shooting. I’ve had the house 12 years. That was the first and only shooting I know of.
    The daughter lives in a very upscale neighborhood and I guess she thinks something like a shooting can’t happen where she lives. There is no more of a gang problem where my house is than where her home is located.
    I don’t want to hurt her feelings (she is the light of my life and I couldn’t be prouder of her) but I don’t know how to get it across to her that a shooting in a neighborhood means nothing these days. It can happen anywhere at anytime. –Sleepless

Dear Sleepless:
    I assume that this daughter does not have to do anything with that property; she is not required to visit it to collect rent, and may not even expect to receive the value of it upon your death. Further, you don’t indicate that she has any special knowledge of the neighborhood where the property is, nor of real estate values and trends in general. So all the “easy to see” motivations are absent, right?
    Therefore, if you gave her all the reasons you have just stated for keeping this property…then maybe she is just afraid – as one can be...I imagine the folks in that neighborhood whom the shooting directly affected are distraught. (Did you ask your tenants what they are feeling about the state of their neighborhood?) Your daughter might well be afraid: of your death, of having to deal with your assets upon your death, of “gangs,” or all the other sources of death and horror that we all see in the news. At your time of life, you have accepted that “it can happen anywhere.” This concept is much more frightening to, say…a young mother? You can use this minor “obsession” to open a wider discussion on her fears...if you are ready. Ask her more questions, listen hard.
    And you might want to “re-check” yourself on the status of this property. If you have been a reader of my column, you might notice that neighbors, of any age, can have very different views of the up-keep status of the dwelling from those who live in it (or own it at a distance). Perhaps you should virtually see this for yourself?

Or/And...
    You can treat her as the peer-adult you know her to be. Do your full research and list all your evidence for the continued value of this rental property: recent crime statistics for that neighborhood (available online), Zillow’s local property sales prices current and last year's (online), length of time this tenant has been there, any other evidence that you have for deciding about your asset. (It is yours and you are in control of your assets and of your decision making…right?)
    Just to complete the picture, you could find reports of other isolated shootings (which is what you believe this to be) closer to her upscale ’hood. :-)
    And, gently remind her of your expectations for the use of this asset. For example, “The value of this property is not expected to fund my costs of daily living,” or “The value of this property is there in case inflation runs rampant and all bets are off.” (Translation: This is not that crucial to me, why is it to you?)
    Conclude by asking her to bring this up again in 3 years, if she is still concerned.

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Copyright © 2014 by Susan C. Price

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