By Anonymous
Edited by Morris Dean
A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father has left home, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent immediately."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher’s wife. "May I ask who you are?"
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I’m the landlord," he sobbed.
A minister who preached on Psalm 119, verse 71 ["It is good for me that I was afflicted"] illustrated his sermon by saying that whereas growth sometimes takes place best in sunlight, at other times a shady spot is preferable.
He continued, "Whereas we plant roses where they will be exposed to sunshine, if we want fuchsias to do well we plant them in the shade."
After the sermon, from which he hoped some of the members would derive comfort, a lady thanked him profusely.
His heart glowed until she added, "Now I know what is wrong with my fuchsias."
"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Ralphie said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."
"That's great," smiled his uncle. "Have you learned how to play it yet?"
"Oh, I don't play it," Ralphie said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."
Edited by Morris Dean
A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father has left home, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent immediately."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher’s wife. "May I ask who you are?"
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I’m the landlord," he sobbed.
A minister who preached on Psalm 119, verse 71 ["It is good for me that I was afflicted"] illustrated his sermon by saying that whereas growth sometimes takes place best in sunlight, at other times a shady spot is preferable.
He continued, "Whereas we plant roses where they will be exposed to sunshine, if we want fuchsias to do well we plant them in the shade."
After the sermon, from which he hoped some of the members would derive comfort, a lady thanked him profusely.
His heart glowed until she added, "Now I know what is wrong with my fuchsias."
"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Ralphie said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."
"That's great," smiled his uncle. "Have you learned how to play it yet?"
"Oh, I don't play it," Ralphie said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."
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