Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

I've moved on, but how can I get her to move on?

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl who lives near him. At first he denied it, but she somehow got my name and cell phone number and contacted me to expose him. I finished with him immediately but he is still contacting me and begging me to take him back. He says he is really sorry and won't do it again, but I've decided to go my own way without him.
    The problem is that the girl is still contacting me with abusive messages and calls. I don't want to get into a fight with her because I've moved on. But what should I do? I can't change my number, I use it for work. –Moved On

Dear Moved On,
    You have decided to go on your way without this boyfriend and therefore you are not contacting him. So of course you will not ask him to help you with this problem. Good choice. Over should be over.
    Sounds like the girl is a person with difficulty moving on, and someone you don't want to have contact with. Assuming you have "Caller ID," first get in the habit of not answering your phone when you can see a number that you don't recognize, and second, don't listen to any voicemails from her number. Delete, delete. Quietly hang up. Do not engage.
    Hopefully, she will get bored with not getting a response. Patience.
    If this goes on more than a few weeks, you have the option of calling your phone provider and asking that her number be blocked, or the more serious option of discussing her harassment with law enforcement. The latter option is only to be used in very serious situations, if you fear physical harm, as this can take time and cause more response on her part.

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Copyright © 2014 by Susan C. Price