Fourth Monday Susan Speaks

The writing seminar

By Susan C. Price

[Please do not take what follows as...truth, or...should you know the teacher...anything but my personal views. Don’t tattle to the teacher.]

Two close friends felt my writing about my pal Pam was so good that I should “make it into a book...add some stuff on Mom and more about dementia.” (eww, I thought...requires research)
    I was talking to an artist pal about the Pam writing, and I mentioned these accolades/suggestions. She said “Oh, I know a great writing teacher.” Uh-oh...I thought, I’m caught...it’s fine to brag and say “oh folks say it’s good and I should WORK on it to make it this bigger thing”...it’s quite another to actually DO the work....
    I googled the teacher and his seminar and wrote him an email. He sent a great deal of information on when and how much and all of the times the class runs each week. And TONS of encomiums...the majority of which were signed by actors whose names we all know from movies and TV. (Hunh?, i always thought the actors all wanted to direct, not write…who knew?!). After weeks of dithering about whether I could afford the money and the time, I was so bored by my inability to decide...that I decided to take the course. Ah , what’s one more excuse to not get to my easel and paint?
    After I sent the teacher the check, I began to write the class dates on my calendar and realized that, tho his printed materials clearly said “8 week seminar,” the dates were for only 7 classes over 7 weeks? He has been doing some variation of this seminar for around 40 years, guess he just hasn’t had time/motivation to update his brochure.

The Teacher is a jovial guy, large (...well in Los Angeles...obese), a bit older than myself. He is an actor and a writer and a poet. Very well read and has his teaching methods and style and ways...set.
    Since this is Los Angeles, it’s no big surprise that the course is named “Method Writing.” In fact, he does use and direct us in the sort of mental/emotional exercises that relate to “method acting,” and he uses examples from acting (his own, and others) and movies that most of us have seen, to make his points.
    I was surprised at the first session that he gave each of us a contact page with everyone’s street address and phone number. In 2014, some folks are sensitive on sharing these items. But, no one said a word. And then, as he reviewed the list with each of us to ensure the accuracy of the data (again, overkill? a waste of our time? he could have asked us to look and just report errors to him privately), he made each student (adults, 18 women, 4 men,...most well over 35) repeat the names of every student before them on the list. A kind of memory challenge. And quite embarrassing for those near the end. He then assigned each of us two buddies to call if we missed a class or needed to clarify the homework. Since he states creating a writers community as part of the course goals, as writing is a solitary pursuit, this made some sense.
    The second week, I arrived early and found his suite of 3 office rooms open, but dark and warm. As it was not my office, nor my utility bill, I did not turn on the lights. He entered shortly after and was mock astounded that I had not turned on the lights and the air. Then, instructing, goading, and treating me like an 8-yr-old, he made me find and turn on each of the 6 switches. In one case the switch – “always beside the door,” he taunted – was harder to find, as the door was behind a table and the switch under an art hanging. I even protested at one point “This is silly!”...but an 8-yr-old I remained. This seemed inappropriate. But in weeks to follow the annoying repetition did help me remember where the switches were.
    His “method” starts with “writing as you speak” – easy for me,,..its kinda how I roll.
    Then a “getting to the deep voice” mechanism...simple in concept. He feels the deep voice of your answers...reality or feeling or whatever, is what engages the reader. I think this is possible.You find an “I” statement, a “transformation line” and muse on it, asking, “what is the story of my life?” In his example, he had written, “I hid the birthday cake from my brother”...To “massage” it, he dropped all but the “I hid” and “massaged”/examined his feelings on that, until he found “I was a bad boy” hidden in his psyche...So, this method seems useful to get closer to a deeper voice, rather than just reporting....

Here was one of my “transformation line” massages from my writing journal, I did not find a particularly deep truth:

“...this is totally skeevy, I like to listen to my neighbors fight.” “ALL THE TIME!”…she says. (I never hear his replies.) Hmm, maybe she is talking to one or more of the 5 kids and their friends who are staying in that small apartment. In fact, I think that is the other voice I hear. She, the mom, is a woman not afraid of drama. Bravo. I never yell. (Now THERE lies a juicy transformation line.)
    I never yell.
    I am always quiet, i take it, i don’t fight back…I think i am wrong?…or THEY are right? what? afraid of what? being punished…afraid of being wrong...being wrong loudly is very uncomfortable…i think we can agree that “very uncomfortable” is NOT deep voice :-)
    how did i get so scared? daddy? well that’s an easy call and possibly wrong...i just am, and i muddle through and have done ok...i am successful in many ways...good relationship, good jobs, fine financially,
    oh that’s enough, time to shower and have lunch
    (the neighbors are still at it...being out of work sucks)

    As we all read our “massaging the transformation line” pieces...the emotional excavations of our deepest regrets and angers...it hits me. EVERYONE (well, at least all the people who take a writing course in LA) feels that they have not done enough with their lives and, if they are female, that they were too well-behaved and should be free now...sounds familiar. Surprise, I thought I was alone in all that.
    I wondered aloud if one could ever have a “deep voice” thought that was happy? Teacher said no.
    Then, teacher was using something I wrote to practice the “transformation line massage”...I had written something about “I don’t do....” He focused on the “I don’t” and asked me to say/repeat out loud, “I don’t,” as if it were a statement of my behavior, the “Story of my Life.” I thought about it and refused…as I don’t feel that I don’t do…I would not let that statement represent me. (Yeah, i expected this class to have therapy elements...so not surprised at that, nor at my own intense reaction...and yup...i can tell that I began to resist some of him...automatically and question everything....it’s always good to challenge new daddies :-)) He protested, “Oh, then you will NEVER write a character that isn’t YOU?” (I became silent, because he did not expect me to answer, and he was clearly making a point for the whole class...I have never intended to move off of memoir into fiction, so yup…i DO intend to only write ME....) He went on...and on...“And as an actor, you won’t act any character who isn’t YOU?” This went on and was uncomfortable for me...even though I was pretty sure it was not about me...many weeks later...in some other context…he mentioned that he had thought I was an actor...so. I did not enjoy the attack, the tone, or the assumptions.

To be continued...maybe….

[Editor’s note: Susan was too modest to tell you herself, but the television program “Let's Talk” recently interviewed her about her art and her blogging, and you can see the interview on Youtube. Her part of the program is the first 13 minutes and 39 seconds:



And do visit her newest virtual store, “Print all over me.”]

Copyright © 2014 by Susan C. Price