Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

Too much & too little

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

I like having sex, but don’t want it to go on for hours at a time, which my boyfriend does. I would like us to climax at about the same time, but he likes me to have four orgasms before he has one – and he can only do that by pleasuring himself.
    I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong. He’s never had an orgasm while making love to me and we’ve been together for seven months.
    I love him dearly. What can I do? –Too Much & Too Little

Dear Too,
    Yes, sex can be confusing. And love is not always the same thing.
    And...it’s all very personal and can change over time...time as in age, and time as in length of time of the relationship. He likes A, you don’t. You want B…he is working (literally) at that. I gather you think that orgasm while he is inside you is the only one that “counts” as “while making love to me”? Interesting. None of it is right or wrong. You each get to decide what you want and what you are willing to “give” on. And those choices can change.
    One of the measures of a great relationship (and one likely to survive over the vicissitudes of time) is the ability to discuss things and compromise and/or agree to disagree.
    To gain more clarity, consider the following options:

• Discuss these matters in specific detail with each other face to face...fully clothed. This may or may not lead to less clothing and or clarity.
• Read some respected sexual-specifics authors. Is not Dr Ruth still talking writing? She is good.
• Get counseling. There are therapists who specialize in sexual matters and relationships.

    Good luck. Oh, and don’t forget to laugh...it helps. Really.

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Copyright © 2015 by Susan C. Price