Goines On: Self-talking

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Goines had recently recommended night-time affirmations, or auto-suggestions, to his friend Lane, who was plagued almost every morning by a morass of dark and troubling thoughts. Such auto-suggestions (or self-commands) had helped Goines avoid that same sort of morass, time and time again, for years, whenever Goines felt the need. And it helped Goines think of solutions to problems as well. The “trick” was simply to convince himself (his subconscious, although he wasn’t exactly sure what that was) that it would do whatever might be necessary to wake him up in a good, or “positive” frame of mind, or to come up with an idea.
    Goines noted that he had used the word “trick” to describe the self-talk to Lane. He had also told Lane that William James had recommended something similar over a century ago. If you want to feel energetic, upbeat, just act like it, think like it. Stand up straight, tighten your abdominal muscles, energize your stride. Lane immediately associated this with golf. He could still hit a ball well, if he forgot about the mechanics of the swing and just visualized the ball sailing down the fairway. But that seemed not be so much a “trick” as a proven, reliable approach, whether in golf or in life generally.
    Another friend (Trinon) recommended CBT, cognitive behavior therapy, which was therapy by constructive self-talk — by replacing destructive, or “negative,” thoughts with affirmative thoughts, thoughts that help you feel and act the way you want to feel and act.
    All of this coalesced in the realization that constructive self-talk is essentially a pep talk. If you feel tired, but you tell yourself, “I feel full of energy!” clearly you aren’t describing a fact. But you can be on your way to producing a fact.
    On this interpretation, CBT is a matter of recognizing what sorts of self-talk you are currently indulging in, and, if it’s destructive & unhelpful, reversing or replacing it with constructive, helpful self-talk that might, once it takes hold, produce a happier, healthier person.
    Goines had another person in mind even more than Lane whom he hoped to aid by persuading her to examine what sorts of things she had long been telling herself that were keeping her down and stuck in job-hopping, boyfriend-hopping, and domicile-hopping, virtually cast out by her family, who had long since tired of repeatedly bailing her out of jams.
    Goines was grateful to Lane and Trinon, and other friends, for encouraging him to hope that he could reach and help this young woman, who was hundreds of miles distant.

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