Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

Should I get myself checked for STDs?

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

I have been with my partner for eight years and we are due to be married within the next 12 months. The problem I have is that we got together young – I was 17 – and I’d had sexual partners before, but never got checked for STDs.
    I always practiced safe sex, so I never got checked because I didn’t think I had any reason for concern. Now I do, because I have this fear that somewhere there may be an issue.
    I don’t want to find out that something in my past may have an effect on us starting a family together. But how do I tell my other half that I’m going for the “once over” without him jumping to the conclusion I’ve been up to no good?
    I love him so much and this makes me feel like a bad person, but I have this feeling something may be wrong and I just haven’t noticed. Am I being silly? –Something Might Be There

Dear Something Might Be There,
        Relax a little. I think it is unlikely that you have an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) that has “rested” totally un-expressed for eight years, with neither you nor your partner noticing anything.
    And I think it is always a good idea to be checked for STDs when you have had multiple partners, and when you are contemplating having children...and/or when you “have a feeling.” In fact, annual pelvic exams, which should include those tests, are part of good preventive medical care for someone your age. You should get them. You should see a doctor more often than once every 8 years. I hope this is possible for you.
    And anyone contemplating the serious step of marriage can be nervous, suddenly, about virtually anything. This is not unusual.
    What might be silly is that your communication and relationship with someone you have shared your life and your body with for 8 years, and with whom you plan to raise a family, is so “walking on eggs” fragile, that you cannot communicate what you just did to strangers? Your life partner should be a good friend who understands and accepts who you are, not someone who jumps to negative conclusions. Think and worry about THAT!
    Good luck.

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Copyright © 2015 by Susan C. Price