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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Thor's Day: Don't blow my cover

Mr. Bean at church (Rowan Atkinson)
Notes from a church closet

By Anonymous

Edited by Morris Dean

[Editor's Note: After the previous column on overlooked opportunities afforded by boring sermons, someone sent me the jokes below who refused to identify him (or her) self, "because I don't want my family to find out I'm not a believer. They would disown me."]

The pastor put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church but removed them after two weeks.
    I asked him why he took them out and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there someone had put up a sign, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."


After a morning worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told her Pastor how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!" It worked.

I asked our six-year-old, "How did you like the service?"
    She said, "I liked the music, but I thought the commercial was too long."


Do a good beginning and a good ending make a good sermon?
    Yes, if they're close enough together.

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Copyright © 2013 by Morris Dean

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