Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

About a friend who is always busy

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

I have a friend who, whether she is working 10 hours a week, 30 hours a week, or not working at all, seems to always be busy, overworked, etc. It is hard to understand. –Kathleen

It is so nice that you keep trying to understand. This is what friends do for each other.
    Try these answers on for size:

• Friend might not want to talk or be with you…so this is her way “out.”
      My suggestion, ask her directly...or just continue to listen to the complaining. Everyone needs to be heard and you might be able to do that for her.
• Friend (unconsciously) loves to be burdened/in stress and will always find a stressor in her life.
      My suggestion is continue to listen. She probably does not want to change. She would not know what to do with the absence of stress. As that would leave sooo much time to...create, view her life clearly…whatever she is avoiding.
      As her friend, you probably know when it’s time to lovingly suggest professional counseling?
      Alternative suggestion, get her to laugh about it. I noticed years ago that all of us 5 a.m. gym rats were not really complaining, we were BRAGGING, when we greeted each other with “Oh! I was working until 9 last night.” Bragging is funny.)
• Friend is utterly unorganized (and...again unconsciously) likes her life that way.
      I don’t suggest that you attempt to help her get more organized...I have tried this and I now see that it is usually insulting and mostly useless…everyone has to find their own level of organization. So... listen to her…we are made with two eyes and two ears and only one mouth, use proportionately.

[We would really like more questions to answer, so send ’em in….]
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Copyright © 2013 by Susan C. Price

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