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By Susan C. Price
[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]
I live in a neighborhood of old craftsman homes. My next door neighbor’s house is a wreck, one side of the house doesn’t have siding or windows—only black paper shower curtains stapled over the window openings. They are a super sweet couple. My friend says I should call the city—but I don’t want to create trouble. Your thoughts? –Claire
Since you said you did not want to create trouble…“calling the city” on a neighbor...is usually a guarantee of trouble.
I always suggest the kind and gentle AND direct approach. If these neighbors are sweet, then they should take your kind concern with graciousness to mirror yours (you ARE, aren’t you? wanting the look of this house to improve out of kind concern for the inhabitants?), and they should be open to the interest and help you are offering. If they are fiscally and or physically unable to upgrade their property...then you need to include an offer of help...maybe the whole neighborhood can pitch in ideas, supplies, and elbow grease?
Perhaps their response will be, “Oh, we did not realize that you looked out your windows at our home!”..but…I bet their answer will be something like, “We don’t use that side of the house and we cannot afford to replace the siding.”
If you want to call someone, call that reality show “Curb Appeal” (or something); they make over neighbors’ places to enhance the appearance of all homes on a block.
Since this type of situation seems to be a popular topic, and having faced down my own personal “but WHY are the neighbors like that?” personal situation, I hereby state Susan’s rules for dealing with neighbors.
- If they are friends, treat them as friends. Gently ask why, while offering help.
- If they are not friends, and it’s not in your physical way, or too loud for you to sleep, or too smelly...(you get the idea)...let it be. And always assume that they have equal issues with you, of which YOU are unaware.
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Copyright © 2013 by Susan C. Price
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As a long-practicing architect, I hereby elect Susan to be the arbiter of all architectural/urban/design/maintenance/butt-ugliness concerns. There is no better advice than a) putting yourself in your neighbors' shoes, and b) assuming they have issues with you. Start with that and you can hardly go wrong! Thanks Susan.
ReplyDeleteHear! Hear! Now, when I advertise Susan's "Ask" column [for example: "You lent a friend a fair amount of money....How can you get him or her to repay you? ASK SUSAN!"], the "ASK SUSAN" part I can utter in complete confidence that askers will get solid, thoughtful, dependable advice.
Deletei am blessed with generous, kind, and very wise brothers :-)
ReplyDelete