Fish for Friday

Edited by Morris Dean

[Anonymous selections from recent correspondence]

There has been an epidemic of jacklighting near our house. We had several deer shot at night from early October through early December, but the shootings and gunfire in the dark suddenly stopped two weeks ago. It seems this may be because the jacklighter shot a deer too close to a house a couple of weeks ago, and was attacked by a local homeowner while he was dragging a deer to his truck. The jacklighter was apparently somewhat defenseless because he had left his gun in his truck and had his hands full dragging a small buck by its antlers. Except for a deer killing a jacklighter, how much more ironic can you get than that?
    It will be interesting to see when/if game commission officers and local law enforcement publicize the issue, because the jacklighting suspect is apparently from a family of considerable local standing. It seems the matter will most likely come to light only if he wishes to file an official police report alleging he was somehow dragged out of his truck at 2:00 in the morning, and had the "crap" pretty much beaten out of him, so the whole situation is most intriguing.
    If the shooter wants his insurance to cover the loss of his gun, and the full cost of the damage to his truck and himself, he will apparently have to file a police report. If he does, it will be curious to see how he explains being attacked while allegedly driving down a country road in the wee hours of the morning, while supposedly minding his own business and doing nothing unlawful. I am aware of a few people running off our local roads because of driving too fast and/or driving drunk, and we have had two people die from such within three miles of our house, but I am not aware of anyone driving around, running people off the road, and attacking them.

The transgender issue is a challenge for everyone. Some schools are now discussing letting students pick the appropriate bathroom for their "gender." But they fear that "boys will be boys and are going to pretend they are transgender girls to get into the girls bathroom and see stuff." Someone pointed out that students will have to demonstrate a persistent desire, intent, etc. to be the gender opposite from that which they were born to in order to "qualify" and they can't just say, "Hey, today I want to be a girl," and be allowed into the girls' restroom.

This is slightly scary, and we may be vulnerable: "Trust Me (I'm a kettle)." Excerpt:

And it's not just keyboards. It's ebook readers. Flashlights. Not your smartphone, but the removable battery in your smartphone. (Have you noticed it running down just a little bit faster?) Your toaster and your kettle are just the start. Could your electric blanket be spying on you? Koomey's law is going to keep pushing the power consumption of our devices down even after Moore's law grinds to a halt: and once Moore's law ends, the only way forward is to commoditize the product of those ultimate fab lines, and churn out chips for pennies. In another decade, we'll have embedded computers running some flavour of Linux where today we have smart inventory control tags—any item in a shop that costs more than about £50, basically. Some of those inventory control tags—any item in a shop that costs more than about £50, basically. Some of those inventory control tags will be watching and listening to us; and some of their siblings will, repurposed, be piggy-backing a ride home and casing the joint.

One columnist's estimation of the dozen personal-technology products [that he has reviewed in the Wall Street Journal] that were most influential over the past two decades: "Top Products in Two Decades of Tech Reviews." Excerpt:

I used as my criteria two main things.
    First, the products had to improve ease of use and add value for average consumers....
    Second, I chose these 12 because each changed the course of digital history by influencing the products and services that followed, or by changing the way people lived and worked.

It seems that the complaints we used to get from motomynd—that the driving in North Carolina and points south was far worse than he had known in Virginia and points north—may have merit: "Louisiana drivers are the worst in America (rest of the South isn't so hot, either)." Excerpt:

But surely the disparity isn't related to weather—otherwise, why would Montana and North Dakota make the top-ten worst-driver list? The overlap doesn't seem to be alcohol-related, either—at least not among the most accident-prone segment of drivers—nor does it seem linked to licensing laws for teens. Frankly, the problem of bad driving seems most closely aligned with poverty rates, though even that isn't a perfect match.
    Then again, maybe the clusters are a coincidence, or perhaps the study is inaccurate—something we've seen before and will likely see again. Methodology nerds could surely poke a few holes in the survey's backend, and our own experiences tell us that some states deserve slightly poorer rankings. Heck, Lindsay Lohan still roams the streets of California, and it's only ranked #19?

Motomynd's opinion on the "unexplained" bad driving in Montana and North Dakota would probably be that a lot of Southerners have gone north looking for quick and easy high-dollar pay created by the "tar sands pipeline" windfall in those two states, and took their penchant for bad driving with them.

It's been so long
    since I've seen a burning bush
Some seasons I see them
    in every desert wash
The magnificence, the miracle...
    "burning, and not being consumed."
Yet who do I fool?
Moses paid dearly
    for his burning bush
    sweaty exhausted miles
    and exhausted, sweaty tears—
All for the dubious blessing
    of talking with God
                What claim have I to a burning bush?
    (or to God?)
            [Excerpt from a poem by Barbara Francken Kelley (c. 1983)]

Actually, cats made a deal with the supreme being a loooooong long time ago and agreed to eat unspeakable stuff from cans, pretend to enjoy the dangling yarn maneuver, and all manner of silly human stuff if they were allowed to lie around all day considering the meaning of the Universe. That IS what they are doing, you know.

Bill O'Reilly had a great column today in the Ventura County Star on "The War on Christmas." Sure makes it sound like a war.

Limerick of the Week:

Too much drinking can drive a coffin nail,
as can partying on too grand a scale,
    so if you indulged
    till your body bulged,
my wish for your recovery is wassail ^*!

* The literal, original meaning of Old Norse ves heill is the wish to be well.
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Copyright © 2013 by Morris Dean

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