Fish for Friday

Edited by Morris Dean

[Anonymous selections from recent correspondence]

In the same week American sports fans were understandably agog about Peyton Manning setting the record for career touchdown passes, by throwing 509 TDs in 56 fewer games than it took former record holder Brett Favre, the world barely noticed that another exclusive milestone was reached. Suni, one of only two breeding male northern white rhinos left in the world, died at age 34 in a preserve in Kenya: "One Of 7 Northern White Rhinos Left In The World Dies In Kenya." Excerpt:

Suni was born at the Dvur Kralove Zoo in Czech Republic in 1980. He was one of the four northern white rhinos brought from that zoo to the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in 2009 to take part in a breeding programme.
    Wildlife experts had hoped the 90,000-acre private wildlife conservancy, framed on the equator and nestled between the snow capped Mount Kenya and the Aberdare mountain range, would offer a more favourable climate for breeding.

    That means there are only six northern white rhinos still surviving in the entire world, and only one breeding male to possibly save the species from extinction. Someone may, or may not, eventually break Manning's amazing record, but when the last northern white rhino dies, they are gone forever. It says something about the human psyche that so many people care so much about sports statistics, but they hardly notice the loss of a species.

I'm sure you've seen plenty of movies where cops all have their guns pointed at a building and announce, "you're completely surrounded, come out with your hands up!!!" For the Greater Sage Grouse, this movie scene is an everyday reality; and it's literally driving this species to the brink of extinction.
    This beautiful bird has some of the funkiest dance moves ever.

    But it's completely surrounded by a host of threats including oil drilling, fracking, over-grazing, wildfires and other climate-fueled disasters. One hundred years ago, an estimated 16 million grouse roamed the US. But today, their population and habitat have been decimated so that less than 500,000 remain alive ["Beginner's Guide to Greater Sage-Grouse"]. It's time for the United States Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) to include this species on the Endangered Species List.
    If you think that such a drastic reduction of a species would warrant listing under the Endangered Species Act, I’m sorry to tell you that your government does not share your concern.
    The USFWS keeps punting its responsibility. Instead of acting to save the Grouse, they've given ranchers and frackers free reign, so long as they claim to implement voluntary "conservation measures" ["Sage-Grouse Win!"]. Essentially, USFWS has asked the fox to watch the hen house.
    To make matters worse, USFWS and the Bureau of Land Management keep granting frackers and grazers permit after permit to continue their destructive activities on Grouse habitat. That's why we need you to tell USFWS that the time for (Environmental) action is right now!
    Tell USFWS to take action RIGHT NOW to save the Sage Grouse.

Did you know autumn is one of the best times to see wildlife? 5 Wild Things to See in Your Yard This Fall:
    Monarch butterflies: You can catch a glimpse of these beauties as they begin their long winter migration to Mexico or California in the fall.
    Leaves changing color: Watching leaves change and fall is one of the most beautiful and peaceful autumn events. Once fallen, leave foliage on the ground to create a natural home for wildlife like chipmunks, frogs, and even helpful garden insects.
    Migrating birds: From songbirds to waterfowl, many birds will migrate south during this season and could use your yard as a place to fuel up and rest—or to take up residence for the entire winter.
    Berries on shrubs and trees: In late summer and early fall, many plants produce berries that are essential fuel for migratory wildlife and animals fattening up for hibernation or to survive winter temperatures.
    Small mammals stocking up for winter: Keep an eye out to see the often amusing sight of many animals, such as chipmunks, jays, and flying squirrels, storing food for the colder months.

It's unconscionable the way Amazon is treating publishers (and writers): "Amazon’s Monopsony Is Not O.K.," Paul Krugman, NY Times. Excerpt:

Specifically, the penalty Amazon is imposing on Hachette books is bad in itself, but there’s also a curious selectivity in the way that penalty has been applied. Last month the Times’s Bits blog documented the case of two Hachette books receiving very different treatment. One is Daniel Schulman’s Sons of Wichita, a profile of the Koch brothers; the other is The Way Forward,by Paul Ryan, who was Mitt Romney’s running mate and is chairman of the House Budget Committee. Both are listed as eligible for Amazon Prime, and for Mr. Ryan’s book Amazon offers the usual free two-day delivery. What about Sons of Wichita? As of Sunday, it “usually ships in 2 to 3 weeks.” Uh-huh.
    Which brings us back to the key question. Don’t tell me that Amazon is giving consumers what they want, or that it has earned its position. What matters is whether it has too much power, and is abusing that power. Well, it does, and it is.

The Amazon rain forest produces more than 20% of the world's oxygen supply. The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States.

The midterm elections are just around the corner and voter suppression laws could disenfranchise voters across the country. Comedian Lewis Black has something to say about this situation: “Not on my watch, baby!”

Not even sure how I came across these "Rare Photos of Famous People," but found it impossible not to look. For example:

Marilyn Monroe, ironically labeled "Salvador Dali"

Why anyone in the South would continue to vote Republican after seeing this map defies logic:


The full Dick Cavett interview with Richard Burton: Incredible, charming, fascinating. Have a look. [about two hours]

At 3:30 we went to the movies and saw The Judge. My critique is mixed: in all it was a very good movie, but they said the F word about 25 times, and had FOUR vomit scenes!! So I am back to my no-R-rated-movies-for-me. The acting was really great, though, and I loved some of the court action.

50 shades of gray:
    He was in blissful ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face as he enjoyed the moment. His wife moved forwards, then backwards, forwards, then backwards again... and again...and again, back and forth...back and forth...in and out...in and out...in and out...........in and out, ever so slowly and gently trying to draw in and use every inch.
    Her heart was pounding....pounding that she felt it would burst from her chest......her face was flushed............she was dripping with perspiration, then she moaned, oh so softly at first, then she began to groan louder and louder and louder, till finally and totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream, a scream that shook him to the very core and she shuddered to a sudden halt.
    Her whole body was taut and stretched, her face like crimson. Finally gasping for every breath, she said: "Okay!!, Okay!! So I can't parallel park the fuckin’ car!!!!"

We thought dinosaurs were extinct. But no, they evolved into idiots, and they still somehow manage to survive even today, apparently, as these examples from the Personal Liberty Digest, founded by Bob Livingston, illustrate.

Some more paraprosdokians – figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected:

• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

A character in a favorite movie says, "Life will find a way." See this fern and English ivy growing out of the side of an oak tree:

[Could the movie be Jurassac Park?]

A favorite road. The Atlantic Road, Norway:

    Opened on July 7, 1989, the Atlantic Road is a National Tourist Route and was honoured as Norway’s Construction of the Century in 2005. The Atlantic is an 8.3 kilometer (5.2 miles) section of Country Road 64 which runs between the towns of Kristiansund and Molde, the two main population centres in the county of More og Romsdal in Fjord, Norway.

    The road is built on several small islands and skerries, which are connected by several causeways, viaducts and eight bridges.

Limerick-inspired verse of the week:

To go public, censors were contacted,
but the one assigned became distracted –
    his girlfriend broke their date
    and he wasn't seeing straight –
not a thing deemed secret got redacted^*.

* redacted.

Copyright © 2014 by Morris Dean