Fish for Friday

Edited by Morris Dean

[Anonymous selections from recent correspondence]

Have you ever wondered...what dogs do when they drink water?

Hogwash: Steamboats carried both people and animals. Since pigs smelled so bad they would be washed before being put on board. The mud and other filth that was washed off was considered useless "hog wash."

Having a bad day?

Oh no, not again. The images are far too familiar. Thick black oil blanketing the once-pristine beaches of Santa Barbara. Beach-goers turned away, wildlife threatened, and ineffective, slow, cleanup technology. When this happened in 1969 it launched the modern environmental movement. Now, in 2015, can we even get effective regulations out of a federal agency?
    The media is sharing scenes of thick oil coating birds and beaches, just days before Memorial Day kicks off summer beach season. News reports tell us that whales have been spotted in the impact zone, just as gray whales are migrating up the coast.
    This spill is showing once more how slow and inadequate clean up methods are, and how the pipeline industry is incapable of quickly responding to the failure of their own infrastructure. The pipeline company was unaware of the rupture until they were called, and the pipeline wasn't shut down until 3 hours after the oil was identified, spilling an estimated 21,000 gallons, and stretching 9 miles down the coast.
    Sign the petition demanding tough pipeline rules today.

Picking up the U.S. mail early 1900s

Remember the controversy over which was the first year of the 21st century, 2000 or 2001? I like this simple argument that it was 2001:
    Since there was no year numbered 0 (year-numbering is simply a matter of counting, and counting starts with 1), the 1st century consisted of the one hundred years 1 - 100, the 2nd century consisted of the one hundred years 101 - 200, the 3rd of 201 - 300, and so on, up to the 20th century consisting of the one hundred years 1901 - 2000, and the 21st century consisting of the years 2001 - 2100.
    Note that in order for the 21th century to consist of the one hundred years 2000 - 2099, one of the preceding 20 centuries would have had to have only 99 years, presumably the years 1 - 99. In effect, were we to designate the year 2000 as the first year of the 21st century, we would seem to be suggesting that the 1st century had only 99 years. To avoid that embarrassment (since a century consists of 100 years, not 99), we discipline ourselves to consider the year 2000 the last year of the 20th century, not the first year of the 21st.

Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body.
    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
    The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Can you eat the whole thing, box included?

Limerick of the week:

Nine biker-gang members were shot kaput,
fighting for turf under one member's foot;
    road trips the nine will never again
    have to climb on their bikes and begin,
or inhale the up-ahead bikers' soot.

Copyright © 2015 by Morris Dean