Two Is Enough

And so are these two funnies

By Vic Midyett

Ol’ Zeb, the fish-catchin’est old fart that ever was, always caught his dinner of fish. By and by I came across Ol’ Zeb and asked him how that came to be. How did he always catch enough fish for dinner?
    He locked eyes with mine, staring through and past them into my soul to see if I was worthy of his wisdom. He must have found I was, because, finally, he put on a far-off gaze and, with an almost unnoticeable expression of mischief-making, he started in:
    “W e l l,” he said, “first, I find me a big, juicy worm. Then I drop him into a jug of my white lightning and let him do a couple of laps around in there.
    “I then take him out and put him on my hook and launch him into the lake. And then I just wait.
    “By about the time I have wet my own whistle with some of that thar white lightning and rolled me a stogy, my pole goes to shakin’ and carryin’ on like a Chihuahua in heat. I reel my line in and every time I do there’s a 5-lb bass in that thar worm’s mouth!”

I overheard a story about this preacher who, in a sermon on marriage relationships, talked about how little some couples really know about each other.
    “For instance,” he said, “I’ll bet most of you husbands couldn’t tell me what your wife’s favorite flower is.”
    A husband in the audience nudged his wife and whispered, “Yours is self-rising, isn’t it?”

Vic Midyett claims no copyright for these jokes, the first of which is original, and the second of which he literally overheard from someone else’s telling. He is happy for readers to share either joke freely with whomever they wish.