Ask Wednesday: Ask Susan

How can I tell my neighbors their painter slopped paint on my fence without our falling out?

By Susan C. Price

[Questions are followed by answers and then, inevitably by ADVICE...you DID expect that...didn’t you?]

There’s a narrow walkway between my house and my neighbors that leads to a field, and a lot of people walk through with their dogs or children. This in itself is not an issue. However, I walked through today and found white paint all over parts of my fence and, on checking, I could see that this had been done when my neighbor had his fence painted. What should I do? I don’t wish to fall out with them, because I am elderly and live alone, and they are good in many other ways but this has damaged my fence, even though I admit that I can’t see the damage from my side. –Hyacinth

Dear Hyacinth: A dog-and-children walking path to a field, how very lovely to share this with your community!
    You admit that you normally cannot see this “damage.” And the challenge is solely to the appearance of part of the far side of the fence. The fence is not broken. I find that sometimes the best way to deal with something that is not broken...is to avoid viewing it. I intentionally avoid walking around to my husband’s side of the bed...I don’t like seeing his socks, etc. that he commonly leaves on the floor. When he naps on MY SIDE of the bed and leaves his big shoes there...then I complain.
    And it is also true that any visual damage can bring down the value of a specific property, and it can allow others to feel that if you don’t care or notice a little “spotting,” then graffiti or other vandalism has an opportunity.
    I suggest you approach your neighbors in person on a day and time when you can reasonably assume they are home and not super busy. If you bake, knit, or garden, take some goodies with you...Ms Travers’ was quite right, “A spoonful of sugar CAN help the medicine go down.” [Mary Poppins] Start by thanking them...for whatever you can think of. Then ask if they had noticed that whoever they hired (you said they “had it” painted) to paint their fence was, perhaps, not the neatest. Then GENTLY ask if they can suggest how this might be fixed.
    Also, your community might have a “helping seniors” group or program, that provides property upkeep in such situations. Try “City Hall.”

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Copyright © 2014 by Susan C. Price

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