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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Tuesday Voice: Jake got me good

By Vic Midyett

Since my stroke, I have been seeing split-second shadows or movements where there aren't any. It happens mostly on my right side. I've been told that my left eye, like the rest of my left side, was affected. They think my left eye does not turn towards the right as much as it used to. This terrestrial activity is only a problem when Jake (my wife Shirley) is around, though. Why? Well, let me tell you.
    Our computer desk is in the living room right behind the chair I sit in to watch TV. Jake has the bad habit, without even trying, she says, of sitting at the computer behind me. After she gets through doing what she is doing on it, she gets up and often reaches a hand out to rub my head. No warning. This is when I levitate! I never know when it’s coming! She's got me several times with this one.

This morning took the cake though. I was naked as a jay bird, bent over at the bathroom sink wetting my face preparing to shave. Unnoticed by me, she waltzed in to use the toilet. As she passed me her clothing ever so gently brushed my right butt cheek. Talk about straightening up and whipping around! I looked like one of those bamboo water-fountain birds, only way faster.
    It is amazing the deluge of stuff that goes through one's mind in a split second. I had visions of being visited by an extraterrestrial or something, and in the most compromising of positions.
    All right, dang it! Who is making her do this?
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Copyright © 2014 by Vic Midyett

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4 comments:

  1. I guess it was a good thing you weren't peeing at the time. That quick turn would have taken on a whole new meaning.

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  2. Another light tale of domestic life Down Under by a favorite voice. Thank you, Vic Midyett!

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  3. I second Ed's comment! -mjh

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  4. Jake behave yourself in the bath room Santa is still watching
    Bear

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